Over the years, I have come across plenty of women, and their diverse circumstances. And me being me, I have always observed and tried to analyze every situation until I understood the root cause of it. Once I am done, I am ready to support whoever asks for my help, though I am not the one to give them step-by-step instructions on how to live their lives. I only empathize and try my level best to advise them on the right path, to the best of my knowledge.
Here are my observations of some chronic circumstances and my very own reasoning of why some of us get into unnecessary stressful scenarios in life and/or how we could perhaps avoid them.
Let me give you a few examples so you understand it better.
• Living with abusers: This may include husbands, in laws, parents or siblings who try to dominate or abuse us until we start to lose all hope to live a happy life. This would also include philandering husbands who mentally abuse their wives for many years. In such situations, we women tend to be bound to the ‘family’ because we know our kids need to be nurtured well. We are also aware that we can very well bring up happier individuals ourselves, but we still suffer in silence and do not leave. Wouldn’t our mind-set change, if we were financially independent? Wouldn’t it give us more courage to take that extra step and move on, to better our lives and keep our children from living around such toxic people?
• Supporting husband’s passion: Many of us want our husbands to follow their passions or continue to exhibit their talents like they used to back in the day. We coax our husbands to lead their lives the way they would like to, as we understand that responsibilities have taken precedence over passion. We, supporting wives, always welcome the idea of letting our husbands explore their passions full time but deep down we are worried about how we would manage our monthly expenses if they do not have full-time paying jobs. Wouldn’t we be less concerned if we were financially independent with a few payments at least?
• Passing away of loved ones: When you lose a loved one, it can cripple you emotionally, especially if he/she is the sole bread winner of the family. Many of us leave our lucrative jobs to don the role of full time mothers or homemakers, despite having all the educational degrees possible. And when tragedy strikes, we are disoriented because we have to suddenly look at getting back into the market by either starting a business or getting a job after a career break of a decade or sometimes even more! If we had been financially independent all the while, wouldn’t that be a blessing in such an unsettling time?
Besides being resilient and handling situations like the ones mentioned above, there are other benefits of not being financially dependent.
• Your relationship, with your husband and kids, is different. They will express respect in other ways than if you were dependent. Consequently, your children will start to get responsible at a much younger age and will learn to take care of themselves. This is of course only possible if we are able to create the right work and family life balance.
• Asking for money (unless you are getting a fixed amount every month) becomes less painful because none of us enjoy asking for money regularly, now do we?
• If you’re lucky to reach a ripe old age, you can live independently instead of depending on your children, siblings or in-laws to take care of you. They have their own lives to live and experience, don’t they? I would hate to be reliant on anyone at that age. Keeping my fingers crossed!
• The overall quality of your life improves when you are financially independent. Having financial freedom means you are working which in turn means you are interacting with different people every day. I say this from experience that this is vital for your sanity! Sitting at home without having constructive conversations, gradually affects your brain. After 7 years of being a home-maker, I already feel like my vocabulary is depleting.
With our lifestyles today, do you think it is fair that the men do all the earning while we enjoy the fruits of their labour? Yes, the house also needs to be taken care of but wouldn’t it be nice if both parties could share both responsibilities? Like we could share in the financial load while our husbands could spend quality time with the kids, perhaps more than usual? I know some men who barely get a glimpse of their children all year round, let alone spending time with them.
I’m not suggesting that we get egoistic and immediately feel the need to search for high paying jobs or move out and try to live independently after every tiff. I’m only highlighting that we need to expose ourselves to the professional arena; perhaps just a little bit at least to be prepared for ‘that’ rainy day instead of completely depending on our men. Also, any earning, that takes care of mobile bills, personal shopping or grocery at the very least, will surely impact the way we think, feel and function.
On India’s 71st Republic Year, let us all strive to be independent in togetherness, just like our country officially decided to on 26th January 1950.
It is imperative to reiterate that the key to it all is effectively balancing your work, home and personal life. If you can handle it well, while being financially smart, you have cracked the code! Not forgetting the age old saying, ‘a happy wife makes a happy home’. True! Isn’t it?
Learn the art of balancing in life!
Do you agree with me or do you have another view I’m unaware of? Let me know in the comments below. Happy to debate your ideas!
53 Comments
This is 1000 percent true and every woman should be aware of this fact. However, there are some women depend on their partners, and this thinking should be changed.
[…] where I have to compromise or adjust. Therefore, I would like to tell my 18-year-old self to “be financially independent before making any huge life decisions. Yet, do not make money your main priority in […]
[…] BE FINANCIALLY SMART: I definitely do not mean that all of us should ignore our families and homes and go to work, but I do mean that we should allow ourselves to be aware of the finances of our home. Instead of dumping all of it on hubby, try and pay the bills, make online transactions, etc. Of course, being financially independent is a plus point. Checkout my article on women being financially independent. […]
This is amazing. This is very important to be independent
I too agree on this that women should be financially independent, especially homemaker. And somehow this is related to me I was a homemaker who now turned to be an influencer, blogger, campaigner and now started my own small business. And this I did from home.
Wow that is awesome and I’m sure you feel more confident after you have started earning …
Your thoughts are very motivating. In today’s world, financial independence is a necessity even when you have been born with a silver spoon in your mouth. Life is unpredictable and sensible are those who keep this fact always in their mind. Even living in home or giving up their job for children and family doesn’t mean that our options are closed. There are a lot many things which a woman can pursue from the within the four walls of her home and earn money.
Great post
That is a very well written and inspiring post. Yes women need to be financially independent mainly because it is important for their confidence levels and to ensure people around them including family respects them.
Women today know the importance of being financially independent and are way forward in taking things head on. Rainy days surely is not the only reason to pitch in to support the family. Skills are always the plus point to be confident about our own selves. Love the opinions argued upon.
Agree Financial independence is much needed for the women. Not only it strengthens her personality but also makes her lively
No one knows where life takes us that is why women should be independent financially, to be ready for the coming future.
Financial independence is important irrespective of the gender. It does make your family look at you differently and also gives you confidence like nothing else.
being financially independent in this age and era is extremely independent and you explained all the reasons why it should be.
Being independent is a nice way to add happy quotient for self but one should be able to balance it properly.
Fab post-Cindy! Financially independent women do get pressured multiway but the financial freedom and support to the family are unparalleled.
This is such a motivating post indeed I feel women should work to maintain their self-dignity
Absolutely! Women should be financially stable and independent. In fact, many will be surprised that rural Indian women are much independent financially than urban or semi-urban sector. But glad the scenario is changing gradually. This is quite an interesting topic to write on. Good luck with the blog profitable momentum.
Very well described and put in words….As they say ladies are Ghar ki Lakshmi….And financial independence not only is helpful for women but even in this fast changing and competitive world may be a support to your better half also….
Yes its so important to be financially independent to nurture your own happiness. I have been a financially independent woman from past 10 days and can understand this need for every woman. The examples you’ve quoted have made this post more interesting.
sad reality put together. i liked some pointers you mentioned to help moms
so well written I strongly follow this and suggest every woman to be independent and strong enough …
I always think every woman should be financially independent and this is not only required to fulfill their own wishes but also for self-respect!!
I agree financial security gives a woman that extra confidence which helps her to grow and stand for herself. Asking for money and helping the family with her income totally change the scenario. Great post dear, you mentioned some important points which should be discussed more.
So true n sad that we are expected to do it all.. eventually it all takes a toll on us.
True. That’s why I delegate housework as much as possible. I find that to be the most thankless job of all.
You need not go.out of the house to be financially independent of you ask me. Online jobs are plenty, women have to make a beginning. Yes, I agree.
Absolutely agree with you. Financial independence also gives a sense of immense freedom.
Because of my full time job, my husband could start his own company worry free and we are also able to enjoy a better lifestyle.
it is really sad and harsh reality of our society that even nowadays women are bounded to live their lives only sake for others and suffer so much with many social evils like domestic violence and dowry. I completely agree with you, women should have their own lives too and being financially dependent is one of the major thing that helps them in being independent.
First of all I found our blogs quite similar. The theme and the ideas behind posts are quite interconnected.. High five for that… Coming to this post, it is true to the core and I agree to every bit of it. Just want to add that financial independence comes not only by earning but by taking financial decisions too. I know many ladies who work but their finances are handled by hubby only which is definitely not a healthy scenario. Also I know of people who don’t earn but play a vital role in all the financial decisions. I guess the latter is a much stronger position to hold.
You are absolutely correct. That is why what I’m publishing next has a little of that too.
This topic is so close to my heart…..I have been through the worst phase of my life when my husband passed away. If only I was financially independent!! Another version of this is..in business families especially joint business wives are not allowed to ask about finances or know what or where the savings are. I was left penniless with two kids to support. The trauma….it is endless. Thank you for such a clear sorted article Cindy.
Yes when my dad passed away when I was 12, it was my mom’s financial independence that saved us though we were devastated.
This is a fabulous post Cindy.it is very important for women to be financially independent. The women need to have the confidence that they are able to earn and are independent is very important
Very thoughtful post and much needed for this era. I too believe firmly to be financially independent and try doing it from the comfort of my home. It gives you a voice and helps to earn respect for sure.
Being financial independent builds women’s confidence, once she feels secure towards her future, she feels more confident in taking decisions regarding her own or her kiddos.
Being financially independent is the major substance in building women’s confidence, as she feels more secure while taking any decisions regarding her own or her kids.
Oh its so important for women to be financially independent! Its the mai key to ones confidence and happiness. Loved the examples of independent Indian women you havd give.
Honestly I agree with every word of yours.Women are equal and shld work together,yes with household chaos we are god gifted that we could handle multi tasking. Being independent means a ton.beautifully expressed.
Every woman should have the choice to be financially independent. Husbands need to share the responsibilities of the household equally when she does. We are not superwomen to manage home and career without the husband’s help.
Yes, that’s right. Women need to step out and be financially independent. Not to prove themselves but for their own satisfaction. But if for any reason, she is not able to fulfill this desire then she is nowhere less influential than any other woman. There is a lot that she can do from her own home.
True. But to be financially independent you don’t have to get out of the house. Surely you can find something to do from the comfort of your home.
Beautifully written, Very inspiring and true to the core.
Yes, we women often get stressed or upset coz of kids, inlaws, hubby, office, maids, etc and we surely need to be emotionally as well as financially independent for our own sake.
Your blog will certainly inspire a lot of women to take up employment and enjoy financial independence. Great going!
So beautifully penned Cindy. A financially independent person ,be it anyone, is confident and doesn’t have to rely on anyone. Infact observing the hike in expenses this will be a necessity in the near future.
That’s true… Women need to stand on their own feet in this world… It’s very important, very necessary… 🙂
I feel it should never be like ‘this’ is man’s job and ‘that’ is woman’s job, both should be free to and equally responsible for running the family. That includes being financially stable (individually) too.
I’m glad the new generation thinks that way!
Thanks for sharing this inspiring article with us. As we enter a brand new decade, it is really important for all women to be financially independent.
This post is very inspiring & i totally support the way you describe it. Today’s women should be independent. Very well written cindy
Thanks Silja
Saving is must , when woman is financially strong. She does not have to look up for any financial need.
This is so inspiring Cindy. I have been so naive thinking I was doing good for family and child by staying home. But lately I realised I need to be myself and independent to be happy self rather than just be there as a zombie .
Hahaha ur not a zombie but yes probably eventually we may feel like one. 🙈