It was a lovely movie. A ‘breath of fresh air’, ‘poignant’ or ‘delicate’ as some friends said. I found it a little dull because I rarely watch movies and when I do, I normally want some kind of twist in it. Perhaps, it’s because I love thriller types more? Even romcoms need to have a little surprise element to make them interesting to me. Nevertheless, keeping my reviews of ‘Three of Us’ aside, what caught my attention in this movie was the scene when the man asked his blushing wife ‘when was the last time she was this happy with HIM?’ which took me to another zone altogether.
Love or arranged; marriages are made in heaven, they say. The coming together of two souls is pre-registered in heaven. And whether we fall in love with our spouses before or after we’re married to them, is apparently irrelevant. What’s relevant is how we treat, respect and make our marriage work; and how we keep the love in it alive! But, as haughty humans, what do we really do? When the initial lust sizzles out, we take for granted that all is well and our spouses are fine. So, we keep ourselves busy taking care of everything else but our marriage.
In the movie, due to her onset of dementia, her husband respectfully accompanies her to her childhood village (which he is unaware of until then). He silently escorts her wherever she wants to go. We can see that their relationship has the friendship and positivity required for two people to stay together, but when he asked her that question, it showed that both, due to a busy life, let the love and intimacy in their marriage take a backseat. Somewhere down the line, those initial lovey-dovey joyful moments that were spent in laughter, happiness and love, were forgotten.
Likewise, when other things or other people become a priority, we begin to start taking things for granted. We start taking our spouse for granted. And we eventually start taking our love and marriage for granted when…
Generally, with time, every relationship reaches a state of saturation (I mean we are living with the same person under the same roof for YEARS). So, if we don’t work on keeping it interesting, it fails. We begin to think we know our spouses, and there’s nothing new to be excited about. We assume that our spouses know us enough to know what we want, think or feel every time. Or we think that we are doing everything right (because there is no complaint from our spouses), so, if anything does go wrong, we take for granted that it’s only our spouses who are to blame. But, are they the only ones to blame?
Give your spouse a sensual massage following these 5 simple steps.
Like in this movie, when Pradeep enters the scene, Shailaja’s husband notices the smile and excitement on her face. She has that glow of happiness like a teenager in love. In this situation, it is very easy for him to blame her for ‘not being happy like that with him’, but is it only her who is to be blamed for this?
Here are the consequences of taking our love and marriage for granted:
Besides following a few tips to stay happily married, below are some things that we could AVOID doing in order to keep our relationships respectful and strong:
Yes, sometimes we need to know what not to do, too. Many of us are up to our necks with work, want for power and running the race of life. But what we forget is that in the end only family matters. And the love in our marriage, being the core of that family, should be given topmost priority.
It is very easy for us to think of other people who make us laugh for a while or show us some love when outside the house but remember that people can be different inside their houses. People can change when we start living with them. So, be aware.
Instead, let us try and respect the love we have and trust the sacrament of marriage. A marriage can only work when both parties are stubborn enough to stay together (with good intentions). Let’s not take for granted the love we have because there are so many people who are still searching for it, in vain.
(I know, I know, I sound like an elderly person giving advice but trust me, this blogpost is also written after an experience which I’m not at liberty to divulge at the moment.)
“This post is a part of Remembering Love Blog Hop hosted by Manali Desai and Sukaina Majeed“.
Photo by Rocsana Nicoleta Gurza.
This blog post is part
of the blog challenge ‘Blogaberry Dazzle’
hosted by Cindy D’Silva and Noor Anand Chawla
in collaboration with Bohemian Bibliophile.
68 Comments
You have really mentioned practical points.we often hear people no love after marriage…but it is to be nurtured after marriage as well.
An insightful reflection on the essence of love and marriage. Your post serves as a gentle reminder to cherish the bond we share with our partners and nurture it with respect and care. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and practical tips to keep the flame of love burning bright.
This is a very important piece for me. I will definitely watch the movie and thank you for your thoughts about this movie. wonderfully explained your thoughts
Im kinda liking the plot of the movie and your review and the questions that followed piqued my interest. Some of these tips could be really useful. Thanks for sharing
Interesting post – this is well said that we take relationships and people for granted, and that leads to the disconnections and downfalls of relationships. Thank you for sharing practical points.
I have not watched the movie but after reading your post, I will surely do. I feel after one point, especially after the kids grow up, you just become used to your spouse but should never take them for granted. Simple things can make a lot of difference.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts on love and marriage, Cindy. It’s essential to appreciate and nurture these relationships, even amidst life’s challenges. Your insights serve as a valuable reminder to prioritize communication, respect, and appreciation in our partnerships. Keep spreading positivity and wisdom!
Sure, Harjeet!
Love is dreamy but marriage is a reality check! It is possible that with time we allow different factors to affect our intimacy but this isn’t something that can’t be identified or taken care of. All partners need is exclusive attention and lots of carefree laughs together for everything to fall in place.
That is such a long list. But the details you have covered I think you have written about your relatable experience in marriage plus the best way of articulation has made your blogpost best.
Thank you, dear!
Peopl always talk about not taking your partner for granted but they hardly have any advice to offer. It’s good that you shared some things to avoid taking the partner for granted. They are not very out of the way either. you can really accommodate into your life.
I’ve written these points mostly out of personal experiences!
Hi, Cyndy, I haven’t heard of the movie, “Three of Us’, but I learned about it in your post. I appreciate every bit you highlighted in your post. The absence of love in relationships makes us wonder about the purpose of marriage. I believe people should marry if they can be sure about its purpose. So many people marry to have a mate to fulfil the set socio-economic purposes—children and family and not for a lifelong, mutually supportive companionship. When the couple does what you have given in the ‘to avoid’ list, I think their marriage is over, and what remains is only a legal agreement. For some, there is no marriage from day 1, only a legal contract. So, that list is so important for those getting ready to marry and those who want to have second innings to give flesh and life to that remaining legal contract. I enjoy reading your post.
Thank you, Prasanna!
Amazing post. One pro tip here though. You should mention that this post is to introspect and fix your shortcomings. There is a strong urge to share it with your spouse, which indirectly is just a blame game all over again.
We start shifting our priority from our marriage to an invisible system consisting of chores and kids: This one really hit me hard though
Yup, these tips should be followed by both sides.
Hey Cindy, absolutely enjoyed this read, especially at a time when I see a lot of anger in relationships nowadays. Your post is a lively cheat sheet for keeping love and marriage amazing. These list of what to avoid is spot on. It’s like you’re a friend with the best advice, and seriously, you don’t sound like an elderly person😄. Thanks for the laughs and the clever insights!
Hahaha, you’re welcome, Anjali!
Your blog post resonates deeply with me, especially the part about how easily we can fall into the trap of taking our spouses for granted. Your suggestions on what to avoid in a relationship are invaluable reminders of the importance of mutual respect and communication. As a newlywed, I will surely keep your advice in mind. Thank you for sharing your personal experience and wisdom.
You’re welcome, Felicia, and I pray you have a good married life.
I actually don’t have much to say, just that it’s not easy to be happily married. Marriage is a two way affair and it takes a great deal of compromises and sacrifices to maintain positivity in the household and retain happiness.
True, Kaveri, effort should be made from both sides.
What a lovely post about love and relationships. Indeed, in this world of rush and hurry, we do need a reminder not to take people who love us for granted.
You have so nicely elaborated when they say “Maintaining relationship is a constant work.”
These movies are such a good reminder for all of us as I feel most of us do take things for granted as we get so used to something be it a person or any thing for that matter. This is a human nature and then complaining and dissatisfaction starts. Value the person through out your life especially when you can’t imagine yourself without them.
Haven’t watched the movie yet, but now I am intrigued! I guess it’s very easy to fall into a rut after years with kids, chores and in laws grabbing all away all the energy, time and attention. Marriage is a two way process and efforts should be from both the sides .
It’s easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of life and forget to nurture the most important relationship we have – our marriage. Reading about the couple in the movie and how they still had that friendship and positivity despite life’s challenges is both heartwarming and a wake-up call.
It’s true, isn’t it? We often forget to cherish those little moments of laughter and joy with our spouse, especially when things get busy or other priorities take over. But those moments are what keep the spark alive in our marriage. We shouldn’t let the mundane routines overshadow the love and intimacy we once shared.
You have raised very valid points. With time we tend to start taking people around us for granted when this is exactly what we must not be doing. However strong the bond might be, TLC is required. That is what keeps a relationship going. And in a way friendship becomes more important than love.
I heard a lot about “Three of Us.” and have wanted to watch it for ages. Thanks for such an insightful review, as now that I’m going to fly tomorrow morning, I will watch it on the flight. You know, we took everything for granted until we lost it. I remember I used to be busy with my first job, and that’s why I rarely got a chance to talk to my grandmother. Now, when she is no more , I miss her every day.
Awww, tight hugs, Pamela!
You have so beautifully pointed out the perils of taking people, love and things for granted. Nothing survives if it doesn’t receive TLC regularly. The whole purpose of marriage was to have a companion who would be rock solid for the rest of your life. I think humans tend to forget that love needs a caretaker too and will bring joy when tended to by both sides. Haven’t seen ‘Three of Us’ but heard all good things.
I haven’t watched the movie yet. Seems like I have to watch it soon. Your points are so to the point and it can seem easy but can be very difficult to exercise in reality. And I totally agree that there should be no third-party interference, be it, anyone. A very apt post that should serve as a reminder to not take people who love us for granted.
I’m yet to watch the movie. I have been seeing it all over the Instagram and hearing good things about it
I haven’t watched Three of Us yet and not sure I will be watching it anytime soon. Your post reminded me of something my father used to say. That some people these days don’t want to work on their marriage. Just like any other relationship, it needs work and more importantly, the commitment to stay together.
If anything this list just made me realize how much my partner is contributing to our family and marriage, and it gave me a deep sense of respect and empathy for him. Thank you for this reminder Cindy, Much appreciated!
You’re welcome, Preeti.
These tips will help a lot. As you said every relationship has problems and so do wife-husband. Love the tips that you have provided. Very helpful. In my marriage, we make sure that we do not discuss in front of our kids. It is always after they go to sleep. We get to talk, argue, make decisions that wont affect kids in anyway
That’s great, Sadvika!!!
A deeply curated post on marriage. As we can see so many marriages of influencers end in the short and long term. I think this post would at least increase the right kind of mindset needed
Longer happier marriages.
You have beautifully portrayed the do’s and don’ts of marriage along with reviewing the movie – Three of Us. I liked that movie though it was a bit slow. But don’t we capture the best moments going slow in front of us?
True, Geethica! Slow and steady wins the race. 😉
I felt a bit of something reading this because I see alot of the don’t do behavior in my parents marriage. 30 years is sure to do that. And I don’t think either of them are in a place to rectify it. Both are just trying to get to the finish line 😅 I’m learning many lessons here from them and one day- if I marry – all these lessons should come in handy. Thank you for your post~
You’re welcome, Careena! Hope your parents find peace even if they don’t agree with each other.
This certainly is food for thought. And of late, I’ve started thinking a lot about this. Maybe I’m growing old but at this stage in my life, even the little things make a huge difference. Not that I was treated badly by my spouse or I treated him shabbily, but of late, I’m conscious to check myself before I speak to my spouse, even when it is just the two of us. I apologise when I over-crib and yell and I now aware of all the drama that can be cut.
Yes, some of us do get wiser as we get older, Janaki. God bless.
Cindy, this is one of the best posts of yours so far that I came across in the last 2 years. I love your bold and confident thought process which always keeps you in the list of my blogger friends I will love to stay connected and associated with. A marriage remains successful when there is love and respect in the relationship. Our relationship with our spouse should always be the strongest one and never to be taken as granted. Our spouse will be the one who will stand by us in the ups and downs of life… I do agree exceptions are there. Mutual respect and love towards each other can make a marital relationship successful. This is brilliant content from you.
Thank you, dear.
Per this reflective post, marriage is of much value regardless of whether it comes from love or whether it is matched. It emphasizes the trend of both partners in a particular relationship getting used to one another over time which causes a reduction in intimacy and connectedness. In such negligence, the consequences of such ignoring are investigated and consequently inferred to the readers to avoid common errors that court strain on relationships. Finally, the work calls for equity, reciprocity, and love to be valued most to maintain a happy marriage. I agree with all the suggestions and causes. 🙂
It is so easy to take people for granted, especially our partners. I would say that after a while this becomes a habit which eventually leads to extreme consequences. It’s essential to appreciate and nurture our relationships. I like the list of things you have shared that one should avoid to keep the relationship strong.
I have been seeing the mention of the movie Three of Us everywhere and your tease about the plot has me intrigued. I quite enjoyed reading the “avoids” part of the post. You so rightly pointed out that people behave differently in different settings.
There are so many bits in here that made me look at myself with a critical lens.
Thanks for sharing these insightful words of advice. I’ll definitely be more thoughtful with my words and actions around my partner from now on.
We all need a reminder sometimes, don’t we?
Yes, we tend to take granted for our spouses. I also love the movie specially this scene where Shailja explain we forgot happy moments we spent together and remember sad moments more. Your blog post is guide to keep that spark and love in our marriage.
An absolutely enriching post. Yes, we do take our spouse for granted and miss out on the most important task ie. To keep the spark and love alive in the marriage after the initial honeymoon phase is over. Your post is extremely helpful and informative both.
Thank you, Zenobia!
Oh my god, how specifically you mentioned every bit of advice and suggestions needed in love. These look simple but are thought-provoking for someone who is looking for genuine advice and can’t get it from anyone.
Such a brilliant take on the topic. All the points you shared seem like very little things, but they’re the most important that hold any relationship together
Cindy, this post is choc a bloc with amazing tips on love and marriage. Thank you so much for writing it because it has something for all those who read it. I do agree that a marriage needs to be worked on and there is never a moment when mutual respect flies out of the window. That spark needs to be kept alive and it gets more challenging as the years go by.
True, Deepti. So glad you agree with me on this.
A very practical manual of love between couples. It can enlighten spouses.
Yes, you tell it like it is. I have seen the demise of a 2 year old marriage after 7 years of courtship and the demise of a 25plus year old marriage, where the partners are grandparents. In a nutshell, marriage is hard work and you’ve got keep working on it.No taking for granted here.Good post.
Thank you, Marietta!!
This post is a Holy Bible for a successful marriage. I believe faith, trust, and compassion are all you need to make any relationship work, and in marriage too.
Hi Cindy, what a wonderful read to begin the day. Your post reflects a thoughtful reflection on the dynamics of love and marriage, drawing insights from the movie “Three of us”, the experience and personal observations. I liked that you have highlighted the consequences of taking love and marriage for granted, extending beyond how all that affects children and create a tense atmosphere at home. The emphasis on prioritizing the core of the family, which is the love in the marriage, is a powerful reminder in the midst of life’s challenges and distractions. I am personally not in favour of taking any person or any relationship for granted and I hope people think like us as it would save a lot of dramas in life.
True, Romila!
Cindy, darling I respect and appreciate your thoughts! What a lovely post this is! I have heard a lot about the movie “Three of Us!” And you only triggered my urge to watch it right away. And as you correctly said, it takes efforts from both parties to keep that spark, that love alive!! Hugs!! It’s so, so, so relatable!
Thank you so much, Nilshree! I’m glad you related to it!