Recently, as usual, I was observing people and found that there was a crazy amount of importance given to how we dressed up, what we wore, how we looked, the expense of our house decor, our traditions, our work statuses, overworking our bodies, etc. Maybe to some extent, it is required in today’s world so that we earn, fit in or have a good social network. But is that all there is to life? Glamour? Status? Power?
Ironically, we are appalled when we watch such things in the movies, but sadly we don’t realize that it is happening around us, too. I just finished watching ‘The Railwaymen’ and ‘Karmma Calling’ so you may know where I’m coming from. If not, let’s ponder while I put on paper (or screen, whatever) the thoughts inside my head.
We all love to devour items that tickle our tastebuds. When I realized that my taste buds were the cause of my increasing weight, I switched to healthy eating for my gut health. Not just to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight. For example, when we’re hungry, we love to satiate our hunger pangs with samosas, pizzas, biscuits, cakes, sweets, bhajiyas, chocolates, etc. But these foods cause gas, weight increase and other health issues eventually. Therefore, I believe that we should train our brains to accept food that is healthy for our gut instead of only eating those that satisfy our taste buds.
Make-up, I believe, should only be used to enhance our God-given features. Once in a while maybe we can go overboard for a big event. But, wearing make-up every single day to hide the real you or to ‘look beautiful’ shouldn’t be the idea we give the next generation, should we? Plus, regular use of make-up is not really good for our skin. Therefore, I believe (and have experienced) that watching what we eat, drinking enough water, exercising our limbs and sleeping well will not only help us look good on the outside but will also allow us to feel good from within.
Having a huge house, of course, is a nice asset. But spending all our time on its maintenance and upkeep will surely not give us any time to take care of ourselves, will it? Like when I asked one of the owners how come they visited the hospital so often, didn’t they take care of themselves? Their reply was, ‘Where is the time to take care of myself? With this big house, I already need more than 24 hours in a day!’ There should be a reason why God gave us only 24 hours in a day, right? Therefore, I believe that it is imperative for us to take care of our health before we take care of anything else. This includes delegation of work and finding a good balance between work and health.
There was this extremely rich couple who always had pride in how they displayed the interiors of their house. I must say it was always clean, well-maintained and high-end. But, soon word got out that they weren’t on talking terms, they had bad fights all day and were almost on the verge of divorce. He was physically abusing her. The kids were traumatized. And nothing was beautiful at home except their chandelier! Therefore, I believe that while enhancing the look of our houses surely feels good, we should also make an effort to nurture the relationships inside our houses. What is the use of having expensive interiors when the members living around them are unhappy?
Climbing up the ladder has many advantages. It makes us feel valued and important and sometimes, maybe, powerful, too. Because we know that we are good at what we do. But getting a promotion and forgetting those who stood by us before that doesn’t make us a good person, does it? Personally, I came across some so-called friends at the time who spoke to me with a huge smile when they wanted me to be on their side. They even encouraged me to aim for a higher position in the club. But, as soon as they got the post they were waiting for, they began avoiding me. They seemed to be too busy to even look in my direction, let alone respond to my ‘hello’. Suddenly, they also changed their minds about the position they wanted me to take, without explaining themselves. It confused and upset me at the same time. Wasn’t there something called trust, courtesy, or humanity even? That’s when I wrote this poem – beautiful smile but an empty soul – because I believe that it’s great to be good at our work but being a good person (from the inside) is more important than that.
It’s quite impressive to listen to corporates talk about their positions and promotions and how they bagged a big client for the company. Some of us have made our dreams come true while some of us have achieved results through months of hard work, sleepless nights and fatigue-filled days. We also throw parties after a salary hike. But what about the kids craving some of our time? Gifting them with expensive toys may excite them for a while but are we sending them the right message by doing this? I believe that no matter how busy we are with work, we should always make an effort to spend quality time with our kids. Our kids want to tell us what happened in school and who did not let them play at the park. They want us to talk to them, hug them when they feel sad and listen to their ideas. They want us. Our kids don’t care what positions we hold at the office, they only want us to take time off and hold them at home.
Many questions swirl around in my head, wondering what we are doing to this beautiful world. Are we raising an unhealthy generation because time is not on our side? Are we ignoring that watchman just because we live in the house that he watches over at night? Are we avoiding a friend now because they don’t belong to the level we have reached? Are we bad-mouthing our spouses? Do we yell at our kids because we have no patience to sit and explain things to them? Let’s ask ourselves if we are truly giving importance to things on the ‘inside’, or are we only concentrating on the ‘outside’ because maybe we don’t have time and we want to achieve a lot?
(But, I’m happy to say that I also know people who give importance to the ‘inside’. They help without expecting anything in return. They respond to my messages despite being in high positions. They are healthy and glow every day. They have happy children. And, I sit and console myself that maybe my kids won’t encounter an unpleasant society after all. Maybe, there is still HOPE for a wonderful world out there! Don’t you think?)
Feature image by Sally Simon.
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34 Comments
It is so very important and often neglected.
In the end, its what inside that matters than anything else for your own happiness and contentment.
Caring inside n outside both are important. But how much ever we talk about inside beauty and all, outside presentation also matters in this world I am not at all in favour of this fake outside beauty but it’s the harsh reality that it’s been given so much importance
Cindy, your post really hit home for me. It’s so true that we often get caught up in the external appearances and forget about what truly matters inside. Thanks for the reminder to focus on our health, relationships and values.
I agree with you, the inside is what is important, and personally for me, it is most important. I have seen too many people be mean or choose priorities based on what others will say, or while chasing material goals, but ultimately they are not happy.
You raised really good question. Corporate job or kids? Yelling to kids just because we don’t have patience, ignoring watchman and many more. Yes we all go through these. But never think. I realised whenever I yell to my elder one.it is really important to be good inside not outside.
well-being amidst the external pressures of society are incredibly insightful and resonate deeply with me. It’s all too easy to get caught up in the external trappings of life – from appearances to possessions – but true fulfillment comes from nurturing our inner selves
This is so true. We look forward acceptance of what’s on the outside and ignore the inside which needs to change.
It’s true, that society often prioritizes outer appearances and material success, but neglects inner values and relationships. Your examples highlight the importance of focusing on inner health, genuine connections, and quality time with loved ones. It’s a reminder to reconsider our priorities and strive for a balance between external achievements and internal well-being.
A very interesting post, Cindy. I’m of the opinion that one can fool others into believing anything but not self. So the makeup or the beautiful house may impress others but deep down one knows that it’s secondary compared to our inner happiness and harmony.
“I believe that it’s great to be good at our work but being a good person (from the inside) is more important than that” I cant agree more with this line Cindy. I will not take the name of the person but I am really disappointed with one of the old dear friend because of this. I was always there to hear her out when she was in serious problems mentally and sometimes gave her advise taking some time out from my busy schedule just to make her feel good and not alone with my presence virtually. Time passed and she is growing and flourishing like anything and doing really good and I am proud of her… but somewhere she lost her charm and a sense of pride or being over proudy is overshadowing her inner beauty. Now when I say my problem she is rude and answers I have many works to do and dont have time to talk and not so disciplined like you……. It pains Cindy…. Sometimes I question is that the girl with whom I became friend with or what I experience now is her inner self. I cant be that atleast for people who are important, close to me and my my life.
I’m sorry to hear that, Samata! But, I’m sure she will realize your value sooner or later.
Just mind blowing article, Cindy… Most of what you’ve said is true… Please could I share this article with my daughter (20) so that she knows the realities of life… Kudos to you for sharing your experience…
Hi, Gerald, thank you for stopping by. I would love if you shared my articles with everyone. :))
This is a great post. I too feel image is creating an aura inside out. Until and unless you are not beautiful from inside it can never show outside in your appearance. Strengthen your inner self, satisfy your soul rest will follow.
When I read the title, I thought it’s going to be one of those articles. But judged too soon. This is truly a multifaceted approach to doing what matters rather than doing what’s fun.
We can have fun but maybe to an extent.
Wow cindy, its like a wake-up call to the soul! Indeed this makes me think about how we’re treating our world and the people around us. It’s a reminder to be kind, patient, and thoughtful in our actions. Very thought roviking post. Keep dropping those truth bombs!
Thank you, Anjali!
While external appearances may initially capture attention, it is the inner qualities that ultimately define a person’s character, influence their relationships and interactions, and shape their impact on the world. Therefore, embracing the belief that “inside is more important than outside” can lead to a more fulfilling and purposeful life centered around authenticity, integrity, and meaningful connections.
Your blog post made me reflect on my own priorities and question whether I’m truly giving importance to what’s on the inside. whether I’m aligning my actions with my values. It’s a thought-provoking piece that encourages self-reflection. A powerful reminder to reevaluate where we place our focus and make adjustments as needed.
Right from a young age I’ve believed and propagated the idea that ‘looks don’t matter’. I may have been (and maybe still am) immature about certain beliefs and ideals, but I’m proud that this one belief came to me so soon. Your post delved so much deeper into that concept and was an insightful read. They’ve cemented my own belief and added depth to it.
True, it is the inside that has to be valued more. Looking good or holding important positions is not of much value until you become a good person. A thought-provoking article on the message we need to pass down to the next generation. Are we doing it right?
I totally agree with all the comparisons you have made. Something that looks good is not always how it is on the inside. We can have the perfect house but if the children are not allowed to be children, then what is the point. It is not a home then.
True, Madhu!
Self Love is the most important type of love according to me. In all the points of contention mentioned in this informative post, I’d choose the one where we are first making ourselves, mind and body happy and then worrying about the wordly ways coz only if I’m true to myself my outside would reflect my inner beauty.
Very true and nicely narrated. Even I take out time for my kids and leave all my work aside to spend quality time with them. Their smile makes my day.
Loved your perspective o on the fantastic article you wrote. The external accessories have a prime role to play but they cannot replace those who care for us and the relationship that nourishes us.
Spot on with your observations. And with the advent and popularisation of social media, there is even more focus on the outside. As for me, I seem to be on the other end with so much focus on the inside that I sometimes feel I should pay a bit more attention to how I look or how my house looks!
Hahaha! I’m sure you’re doing okay, Sakshi!
Nice post Cindy and since I know u personally, I can vouch that uv written everything from experience. To me the post is relatable to a great extent although I don’t totally agree with some things in it.
The mantra I teach AnN almost every single day is… it’s the inside that matters. I tell them that
if they want to judge a person, they have to look on the inside as all other tags attached( money, position, power etc) are superficial. Aarna likes to wear makeup n I know one day she will but I keep telling her that inner beauty matters… not that she cares to understand it now… hahaha!
Also, I like to maintain a balance… I keep my house nicely but not at the cost of my sanity. I do late nights, but not at the cost of my beauty sleep n health… I outright decline😛. I eat junk sometimes but eat healthy most days.
So I think I am more or less sorted right?
Hahaha of course, Kaveri. And, we have to be stubborn sometimes.
I really like it when you add jobs or kids. It is the reality of mothers that we have to choose one over the other. And it is obvious that we chose kids. And the other thing I agree on is, House or self-care? Most of us get ourselves involved in house care so much that we lack the self-care aspect. Love reading the reality post.
Our greed and the need for validation create this never-ending cycle that costs us our humanity and affects our health. I agree, it is nurturing your soul and body and relationships that should be our priority rather than worldly possessions. But I do love a well-kept house not necessarily a luxurious one for the simple reason that an organized and clutter-free home is cleaner and healthier for the inhabitants and delegation really helps.
Yes, Preeti, delegation is a must. We aren’t super-humans.