With all the confidence in the world, I had put up a post on Instagram about couple goals, right after Valentine’s Day, in 2020. And then, the virus struck, lockdowns happened, husbands were at home and all hell broke loose. And, the next 10 months were spent putting into practice my humble words of wisdom.

Yes, everyone is busy with kids, office work, house chores, birthday parties, social life, social media and probably more but what about our own relationships? Just like your body needs you to eat, exercise and sleep well in order to work well, your relationship also needs you to take care of it in order to survive. During the pandemic days, through ups and downs, some of us managed not to kill our spouses because we followed a few things that, we believe, worked.

It is hard to make a conscious effort considering that some of us were living while some of us were merely surviving the lockdown. But, what has to be done, has to be done, right? As you all know, the main requirements, in any relationship, are Commitment, Humour, Understanding, Respect, Chemistry and Honesty. Besides that, here are a few more simple ways for couples to enjoy being married or together:

1. Give each other space.
Firstly, living together is not a joke. We have to make sacrifices, adjustments and compromises. But, there are many spouses who have several restrictions for their partners. While in the beginning, changing someone or not being yourself would seem exciting, in the long run it usually gets depressing, annoying or suffocating. This tends to come out in different ways than one. Therefore, giving each other space is something that is extremely important in any relationship. This includes letting your spouse be themselves.

2. Communicate about what is bothering you.
Sometimes, communication also does not change anything in your relationship due to the different mind-sets. But, at least it will allow you to lighten the burden you feel within yourself. Communication is a great way to tell each other how you feel. It is also a good time to express your views about a bad habit that is bothering you. Of course, this should be followed by some sense of understanding on the listener’s part too. Also, if you have kids, handling them as a team is very important. Sometimes, when both partners have dissimilar ideas on how to bring up their kids, it leads to bitterness between the couple. This eventually affects the kids and confuses them too. Therefore, it is also advisable to communicate with your partner on how to go about disciplining and educating your kids.

3. Celebrate every birthday and anniversary together.
I know many couples think that a birthday and anniversary comes every year, so why spend it every year together. But, trust me, it feels good to make that extra effort and spend important occasions with each other. It also brings a smile on our faces, doesn’t it? Some of us made use of the pandemic holiday and baked a cake for the first time in our lives. I baked a couple of choco-lava cakes for hubby’s birthday while he went and baked a huge crème brulè cake for mine. Then, between classes and work, he prepared an Arabian dish called majboos and we all sat on the floor and devoured it the Muslim way – from the same plate. I had a pretty good birthday, despite the lockdown.

4. Do things together.
No, I’m not only talking about getting intimate, but about spending quality time with each other, at least every week. Together, you can probably sit to watch a fun movie (Netflix and Prime are filled with them), go for walks (we are always doing this), take a night off to go on a date (ours stopped during the lockdown), do something fun/childish (like bowling, cycling, rock climbing, paint balling, pub hopping, etc.) or schedule a massage session once a month. You can click here to know how to go about giving your partner a sensual massage.

5. Pray.
Praying together in a humble way helps calm your senses. Even if you’ve fought with each other, you could probably feel better while praying with them. Make sure you pray and thank God for the family that he has given you. Many people do not have anyone to call their own. Teach your children to be thankful for their parents. And as a family, visit the Holy Place of Worship at least once a month.

Besides the above mentioned points, try and smile at your partner every day. Neglecting and ignoring your partner may lead to a weird distance. And suddenly, you may wonder why things are out of control. Also, both partners cannot be hot headed or egoistic. One of you has to be the mature and composed individual who keeps the little tiffs from turning ugly.

Interference is another major culprit for break-ups. As a couple, involve as few people as possible or none at all. Learn to handle your relationship yourself. Your nonsense, your secrets, your happiness, your sadness, your difficult times are yours (as a couple) to handle. Of course, you can have confidants and friends whose shoulders you can cry on, but the ultimate decisions and making up should be all up to you.

What do you do to enjoy staying married/together?

ENJOY BEING MARRIED
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This blog post is part of the blog challenge ‘Blogaberry Dazzle’ hosted by myself and Noor Anand Chawla, and happily SPONSORED BY RRE Studios and SHOWCASE Events.

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Cindy D'Silva
Cindy D'Silva
Cindy D'Silva, besides being a mother of two angels, is a belly dancer, writer and photographer. She loves partying, bowling and eating sushi. There is a detailed biography about her on the ABOUT ME page in case you would like to know more. :)You can like and follow her Facebook page to get all updates on the latest blogs and more: https://www.facebook.com/blogaberry/

35 Comments

  1. Respecting each other and making special time for each other is what works best for my relationship!

  2. Marraige depends on two people, unless both are contributing and nurturing the path isn’t very long. Your tips are amazing, communicating openly is very important.

  3. jyoti says:

    I totally agree with you. I believe communication and giving space to each other is important aspects of any relationship.

  4. Nehal Roy says:

    Its always wonderful if you have the right person by your side. i totally agree with you dear. every relationship needs it.

  5. Great Post Cindy! I agree in any relationship communication is the key. With one’s spouse, along with communication, trust, mutual understanding and willingness to let go also plays a great role. Our marriage has seen 7 years, and in these years we have seen lots of ups and downs, and have always stuck by each other. While we have our moments of happiness, we have also had many banters. But the only thing we ensure is that we discuss and finish off the matter before we sleep. The next morning begins with a happy note.

  6. These are great tips. We already do these and should set good examples to kids. Thanks for sharing

    • SwatiMathur says:

      Communication is the key for any relationship to bloom but it is definitely lacking as people avoid any arguments and want to play safe but this can become nasty in long run. In my relationship I am the one who initiate but than he does reciprocate.. So that’s balances it out

  7. Great piece of advice Cindy and I agree that it is not easy to maintain a healthy relationship for long years. personally I believe communication and having a deeper understanding for each other on various important aspects of life, is something that goes in a long run. doing something together and taking care of each other’s interest is another small thing that helps in creating a strong foundation for future as well, loved all the points and I am sure it will help couples to enjoy their relationship even with being busy in their own lives.

  8. How simple these pointers are, it requires effort during the grind, we need to take time off and focus on relationships. We tend to take partners, friends and people close to us for granted which shouldn’t happen. Happy to have read this post

  9. Priyanka Nair says:

    Can’t agree more, giving space and yet doing things together develops a unique bond. And communication is undoubtedly the key in any relationship.

  10. Abha Singh says:

    That’s a wonderful post Cindy. I agree that giving each other space and communication is the key to any healthy relationship. I also agree that sharing kids responsibility and helping each other to grow, encourage to follow their passion can make your married life bliss.

  11. Vasumathi says:

    Your tips would work well not just during the lockdown but otherwise too. My husband and me are in 20th year of our marriage and we argue & fight but it is always healthy…..and not with malicious intent or to hurt the other. There have been many ups and downs in our lives with regards to finances, family, health etc….what has worked really well for us is that while we may disagree with something, we have always stood by each other. i know that he has got my back & he knows that I have got his….for lifetime. Iam happy to say that even after 20 years, we still are the best of friends and crack jokes, pull each other’s leg and do goofy things like we would when we were dating.

  12. Urvashi says:

    With many things in mind I kind of ignore and take my relationship with my husband. It’s most of the times always last on the priority list. This approach jas backfired quite a few times in terms of fights, nagging, taunting and most of the times misunderstandings. It’s mostly in subconscious mind that I need to do something but what is not always clear. So this is wonderful list to try out. I even shared with my husband to read it. He also relate to it somewhat. I am waiting for a getaway we booked just because of this

  13. Kids look at their parents as their strength, if the parenta have misunderstandings then you can imagines the east and west of emotions, opinions, and love. You have pointed out those minor points where every couple should workout. Strong Relationship works wonders in family.

  14. Loved this post. Yes, communication is the key to the success of any marriage or in fact any relationship.

  15. The tips you shared are important not just for a married couple but for practically every relationship. Particularly providing space which is often a rarity in Indian context.

  16. Simple yet wonderful ways for a happier life. Thanks for writing dear.beautiful 💖you must be 😊

  17. Trust and communication are the 2 pillars of a happy marriage. You have listed 5 valid points and i’m proud to say that we follow them all! Completing 13 years very soon.

  18. I loved this read. Whilst they say communicating is the key to a good marriage, however it is easier said than done. I definitely am an introvert and find it very hard to express my feelings, so it is challenging.

  19. Now a days specially I feel giving each other space is very important. For me giving space and communication is very important. Till you do not communicate how will you know each others feelings.

  20. Ila Varma says:

    Over expectation kills the essence of the relationship. I agree with your five pointers Cindy for a healthy relationship. Give ample space to each other to grow n understand each other. Sharing responsibilities and spending time together to manage the household gives both of them a time for togetherness and it strengthens the bonding.

  21. To me most relations require communicating . Your spouse should know how you feel about whatever they do. If you don’t like what they do like say leaving things around explain it to them. Also spend time with them doing things together.

  22. This is so insightful. As a couple living together there are a lots of differences in our opinions,choices etc. yet giving respect and a little space to your partner makes the relationship lively. Loved the post.

  23. You have listed out the best points there are for a happy marriage or for a couple to enjoy being married. I feel that marriage is an institution that you have to work at every single day. The moment you don’t it starts developing cracks and falls apart. I was married for 21 blissful years. We never had a single fight in all those years. It is about communicating; everything. Even your innermost feelings or your dreams. We had nothing in common. I started learning to like what he did and vice versa. We came to one point gradually.; and then he just left me alone! These days, where is the compromise, sacrifice or even trust? Social media is killing relationships.

    • Not a single fight??? Wow, that’s something! Yes, communication is something I’m bad at. I write but I cannot get myself to communicate at all times… I have to work on that!

  24. Can’t agree more on this; understanding each other’s space, open communication, doing things together, and a few tiny wise compromises make any relationship stronger and healthy. Also, I too believe the degree of understanding supposed to be of the next level when kids are around or involved in it.

  25. A very pertinent post for all couples of all ages, irrespective of status – married, unmarried or never to be married. Commitment, honesty, sharing and doing things together are essential for a happy relationship.

  26. […] My third blog post as part of the blog challenge ‘Blogaberry Dazzle’ hosted by Cindy D’Silva and Noor Anand Chawla, and happily SPONSORED BY RRE Studios and SHOWCASE Events. More posts may be found here. […]

  27. Great piece of advice Cindy and I agree that it is not easy to maintain a healthy relationship for long years. personally I believe communication and having a deeper understanding for each other on various important aspects of life, is something that goes in a long run. doing something together and taking care of each other’s interest is another small thing that helps in creating a strong foundation for future as well, loved all the points and I am sure it will help couples to enjoy their relationship even with being busy in their own lives.

  28. Alpana Deo says:

    I so very agree with you Cindy. Married couple sometimes forget to relive their old days once the responsibilities starts showing their presence. But with some simple gestures, they can still enjoy the time together. Giving each other space is so important. These days, since almost all of us live in a nuclear family, everything is very transparent. So that time, when couple give space to each other then it will only strengthen their relationship.

  29. Monidipa says:

    Marriage to a right person is always a blessing. But yes these points you have mentioned are really something that every marriage needs. Not only a marriage, even if you are in a committed relationship these things are required there as well…

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