With all the confidence in the world, I had put up a post on Instagram about couple goals, right after Valentine’s Day, in 2020. And then, the virus struck, lockdowns happened, husbands were at home and all hell broke loose. And, the next 10 months were spent putting into practice my humble words of wisdom.
Yes, everyone is busy with kids, office work, house chores, birthday parties, social life, social media and probably more but what about our own relationships? Just like your body needs you to eat, exercise and sleep well in order to work well, your relationship also needs you to take care of it in order to survive. During the pandemic days, through ups and downs, some of us managed not to kill our spouses because we followed a few things that, we believe, worked.
It is hard to make a conscious effort considering that some of us were living while some of us were merely surviving the lockdown. But, what has to be done, has to be done, right? As you all know, the main requirements, in any relationship, are Commitment, Humour, Understanding, Respect, Chemistry and Honesty. Besides that, here are a few more simple ways for couples to enjoy being married or together:
1. Give each other space.
Firstly, living together is not a joke. We have to make sacrifices, adjustments and compromises. But, there are many spouses who have several restrictions for their partners. While in the beginning, changing someone or not being yourself would seem exciting, in the long run it usually gets depressing, annoying or suffocating. This tends to come out in different ways than one. Therefore, giving each other space is something that is extremely important in any relationship. This includes letting your spouse be themselves.
2. Communicate about what is bothering you.
Sometimes, communication also does not change anything in your relationship due to the different mind-sets. But, at least it will allow you to lighten the burden you feel within yourself. Communication is a great way to tell each other how you feel. It is also a good time to express your views about a bad habit that is bothering you. Of course, this should be followed by some sense of understanding on the listener’s part too. Also, if you have kids, handling them as a team is very important. Sometimes, when both partners have dissimilar ideas on how to bring up their kids, it leads to bitterness between the couple. This eventually affects the kids and confuses them too. Therefore, it is also advisable to communicate with your partner on how to go about disciplining and educating your kids.
3. Celebrate every birthday and anniversary together.
I know many couples think that a birthday and anniversary comes every year, so why spend it every year together. But, trust me, it feels good to make that extra effort and spend important occasions with each other. It also brings a smile on our faces, doesn’t it? Some of us made use of the pandemic holiday and baked a cake for the first time in our lives. I baked a couple of choco-lava cakes for hubby’s birthday while he went and baked a huge crème brulè cake for mine. Then, between classes and work, he prepared an Arabian dish called majboos and we all sat on the floor and devoured it the Muslim way – from the same plate. I had a pretty good birthday, despite the lockdown.
4. Do things together.
No, I’m not only talking about getting intimate, but about spending quality time with each other, at least every week. Together, you can probably sit to watch a fun movie (Netflix and Prime are filled with them), go for walks (we are always doing this), take a night off to go on a date (ours stopped during the lockdown), do something fun/childish (like bowling, cycling, rock climbing, paint balling, pub hopping, etc.) or schedule a massage session once a month. You can click here to know how to go about giving your partner a sensual massage.
Praying together in a humble way helps calm your senses. Even if you’ve fought with each other, you could probably feel better while praying with them. Make sure you pray and thank God for the family that he has given you. Many people do not have anyone to call their own. Teach your children to be thankful for their parents. And as a family, visit the Holy Place of Worship at least once a month.
Besides the above mentioned points, try and smile at your partner every day. Neglecting and ignoring your partner may lead to a weird distance. And suddenly, you may wonder why things are out of control. Also, both partners cannot be hot headed or egoistic. One of you has to be the mature and composed individual who keeps the little tiffs from turning ugly.
Interference is another major culprit for break-ups. As a couple, involve as few people as possible or none at all. Learn to handle your relationship yourself. Your nonsense, your secrets, your happiness, your sadness, your difficult times are yours (as a couple) to handle. Of course, you can have confidants and friends whose shoulders you can cry on, but the ultimate decisions and making up should be all up to you.
What do you do to enjoy staying married/together?