INNER FEELINGS – WHEN JEALOUSY GETS THE BEST OF YOU

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INNER FEELINGS – WHEN JEALOUSY GETS THE BEST OF YOU

INNER FEELINGS - WHEN JEALOUSY GETS THE BEST OF YOU

I have to admit that I was quite the jealous cat when I was a child. There have been instances when I have destroyed something only because my friend had it and I didn’t. I have also ruined a surprise because the guy I liked used my help to give my friend the surprise. Sheesh! The things we have done during our childhood! Or am I the only one?

But when we are kids, we are still in the process of figuring out our feelings. What happens when we become adults and are still not sure how to handle those feelings? What do we do then?

Let me tell you a story of how I got around my jealousy feelings, during adulthood, for a particular person.

There was this person (Lola) who seemed to always get what she wanted. With a rich father, she barely had to work her way through anything. I didn’t even have a father so I had to start working at the age of 19 to support my single mom. Lola climbed up the ladder with support from peers, because she had all the time in the world to call and talk people into vouching for her. I had kids to take care of and no time. She had even spoken ill about me to acquaintances behind my back, something I avoid doing even to my enemies. Lastly, she had the money to get whatever she wanted and I didn’t. I felt quite jealous about everything she had and I didn’t.

Yet, I shrugged those thoughts aside and tried not to think too much about them. I smiled at her whenever she greeted me. I have also genuinely helped her, several times, with whatever she needed assistance with. It felt good. It felt great to lend a hand to someone despite my jealous feelings towards them.

And, then I slowly realized that God works in mysterious ways. He gives us things that we need and not what we think we want. While Lola had a still born child, I had two healthy kids. She had money but bad health. I had no money but I definitely had health. She had peers who saw her money, while I had unpretentious friends who loved me. She climbed up the ladder because she had the gift of the gab but then, I thought to myself, ‘did I really want to climb that same ladder? Was I really interested in rising to that particular position? Wasn’t I happier drawing, painting, dancing, being with my kids and following my passion instead?

As you can see, we generally tend to ignore the possessions that we already own because they probably do not involve having money or being rich. We mostly strive to acquire what others have and we don’t. Yes, life is a little tough when you have just enough but is it all that rosy for everyone who seem to have it all?

INNER FEELINGS - WHEN JEALOUSY GETS THE BEST OF YOU
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Therefore, I try and count my blessings for whatever I have instead of feeding my jealousy. I try to make an attempt to think about the positive things in my own life instead of thinking about the positive things in someone else’s life. I try to be a nice human being as much as possible, in whatever situation I am. What about you?

Have you ever felt jealousy towards an acquaintance or a friend? How have you gone about dealing with it? If you’re not sure how to deal with jealousy, try making gratitude bubbles and let us know how you feel.

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Cindy D'Silva
Cindy D'Silva
Cindy D'Silva, besides being a mother of two angels, is a belly dancer, writer and photographer. She loves partying, bowling and eating sushi. There is a detailed biography about her on the ABOUT ME page in case you would like to know more. :)You can like and follow her Facebook page to get all updates on the latest blogs and more: https://www.facebook.com/blogaberry/

48 Comments

  1. Harshita Nanda says:

    Jealousy is an emotion I used to feel quite a bit when I was young. Once I entered middle age, I realised I already had a great life and was content doing the things I love. So yes, I do believe, with age comes maturity and the fact that we will get what deserve.

  2. Vaishali says:

    I once read this, “I would maintain that thanks are the highest form of thought; and that gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder.” Glad you follow the rule. Not many people hold or live by the same thought. To harbor, bad feelings is not abnormal, but the way to deal with such emotions by not letting the effects bother the consequences is an art a human needs to be skilled at.

  3. Sayeri says:

    If I say it never comes to my mind then I am telling lie my dear. We all are human being and these things are very normal. But what we have to do is, a better way and more positive thinking to overcome that.

  4. Snigdha says:

    You know every emotion is important to give a push up in life and jealousy is such an emotion .

  5. Judy says:

    Jealousy is an omni present state of mind. Grass is always greener at the the other side and we tend to see things on face value. Only if we realise that there are many bigger aspects of life than successes and failures.. or having a thing or not.

  6. Ishieta says:

    oh what an absolutely fantastic point of view! I could relate to the story – i have definitely been in situations which seemed to totally be in the favor of the other person. but now that i think about it, i dont know much of their condition or situation, but i do know, that despite everything, i always have something to smile about 🙂 everyday 🙂 and that is such a blessing! enough to actually forget about those people and move on! thank you for sharing this insight and experience.

  7. Jyoti says:

    Yes definitely at some point of time .I did feel these negative emotions like jealousy overpowers us .But recently i have started practicing Gratitude which is making me overcome this .You have written beautifully.

  8. Jealousy is an emotion everyone deals with at some point in life. What’s important is how we deal with it and how much we let it effect us in a negative manner. I totally second your take on this.

  9. Jealousy is one emotion which we fail to accept and acknowledge but any type of politics family or work place is due to Jealousy.

  10. My dad always taught me to be happy with what I have and I tried to instil the same in my kids. My cousins were all rich while we wore hand me downs yet we were all 5 of us confident in our skins. I lost my husband at the age of 40 and stepped out of my comfort zone in search of work in the big bad world but I always count my blessings. Gratitude always for what I have. When we look around we realise we are much better off then millions isn’t it? BTW my daughter started giving tuitions at the age of 15 when her dad passed away and is now a bold independent girl. You have a great family dear, Stay Blessed <3

  11. Isn’t that the case with most of us when kids, and even later in life? Jealousy is a determination booster, we aim more to beat our direct competitor and in the way excel on our own personal best. Like your open hearted approach to this feeling.

  12. You have expressed a true emotion which is hard to express. Sometimes we learn more from self while being in this emotion.

  13. Roma says:

    You are a honest person Cindy. Only you have the courage to accept your feelings in public! kudos!

  14. Preeti Chauhan says:

    As a kid I was always comparing myself to others or was compared to others , with all the focus on performance in Indian homes , no wonder I would feel jealous too ! But I have come to that age when I can get rid of those feelings soon .

  15. Show me a person who never felt jealous. None, right? But learning from past experience and churning goodness out of it is bliss. Candid of you to share your story bravely.

  16. Ruchi Verma says:

    Every emotion is really important, jealousy is really one such emotion!!

  17. Jealousy is a feeling that arises with anger, insecurity and greed.Guess each one of us face such issues from time to time. You have approached a very sensitive and relevant topic.

  18. Harbouring bad feelings affects the person more than anyone else. You have shared quite an important lesson here, we must count on our blessings than compare.

  19. Warm hugs to you on your life’s struggles and success. Its amazing to read that you started working as early as 19 years! Loved the way you imparted your learnings through your and Lola’s examples.

  20. It happens when we don’t receive what we expect and start comparison. Jealousy is common and sometimes it leads us to work harder.

  21. Jealousy is a negative emotion and to make it positive convert jealousy into an inspiration. This will help you to deal with situations better.

  22. yes I agree we all feel that kind of emotions so many times in our life but at the end, I am sure most of us understand that each one has their own journey and own set of struggles in life. so avoid comparison and enjoy what you have is best thing to avoid jealously and other negative emotions.

  23. Pratibha says:

    Jealousy can manifest in many ways. From getting the fraud imposter syndrome to being angry seeing someone succeed more than you are normal human feelings. But the trick is to control them. Takes a lot of inner work to get there, but when you do, it is bliss. But since we are human, it is natural for those feelings to rise again once in a while.

  24. At some point of time in life everyone bis bound to be jealous. I’ve been at this stage too. #tmmreads

  25. Ginia says:

    Jealousy mainly depends on perspective. It takes a lot to maintain a balance and not get swayed by the green eyed monster. Its good of you to have realised the balance.

  26. Being jealous is a human trait we’ve all suffered from. But yes, the gratitude bubbles make so much sense.

  27. Varsh says:

    None of us are untouched by jealousy. Its even more pronounced when we deserve more than them. However, much like you, I know I’m much better off than anyone can be. Realising this is the sweetest feeling!

  28. true, I agree to your post. I still feel jealous but keep in mind . God has something good for us .

  29. Very important learning and I feel that life teaches you so many things. The most important is implementing those learnings in a positive spirit

  30. Jealously is inevitable, its how we deal after that makes all the difference 😉

  31. Chandresh says:

    It happens to me all the time 🙂

  32. Afreen Ansari says:

    Very well explained in the blog. It’s time to look inwards and make sure all emotions including jealousy is in check.

  33. Ghazala Naseem says:

    Thankfully this Feeling of Jealousy is less in me and always Thank Almighty for all the blessings I have 🙂

  34. Archana says:

    Jealousy is a common nature, only becomes dangerous when it rules over your mind. I always love to read your honest confession Cindy and your honest realization push me to visit again here, your approach towards the life shows your power of positivity.

  35. With your life’s story, you gave us a reason to stop & think. Yes, it happens many times when we look at others & feel how lucky they are without even knowing their hardships. We should always count our blessings & think good about others.

    • Alpana Deo says:

      Jealousy is one of the emotions and we all experience it at some point in our life. I feel realizing that our mind is getting trapped with this emotions and it is affecting us is the first step. As you said, we all are blessed with so many good things in our life so let’s count that. Automatically there will be no place for jealousy.

  36. Hi Cindy! I thoroughly enjoyed this blog. It makes you look inward, and see things in a positive light. Jealousy is a natural human trait, but it must be checked and kept within limits. And yes, we must not always look at the world with a materialistic lens, and make it a habit to count our blessings. #MyFriendAlexa #TinaReads

  37. Parul Malhotra says:

    Your post reminded me of the lesson I learnt quite late in life. Sometimes you need a failure to boost help you push your boundaries. It’s simply your vision towards life that make the difference.

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