Caution for new moms: Post partum depression
Post-Partum Depression is a Transition phase that needs awareness
Back in 2012, little did I know what I was about to experience. The unplanned pregnancy was surprising but I accepted it because I believed that probably God knew what I needed before I realised I needed it. I respected his decision and took care of myself until my mom arrived and let her motherly love comfort me. Before my mom arrived, I depended totally on my sixth sense that, if you follow my writing, is still my favourite companion. My husband was happy, surprised and equally supportive but he was also going to be a father for the first time.
When I delivered and the doctor showed me my little angel, the only reactions I had were slight confusion and relief. Confusion because I thought babies were born with their eyes closed while my daughter’s eyes were wide open and relieved because it was a girl. I passed out after that. When I woke up, I was immediately expected to breastfeed her, another thing I was obliged to do. Yes, I read all about the breastfeeding benefits but the reality was a totally different feeling.
When I had to get out of bed, for the first time after delivery, the next day, I was in excruciating pain. I recalled my grandmother who had 9 deliveries. I recalled another friend who had 2 caesarean deliveries in a span of two years. I cursed my husband for putting me through this. I wasn’t sure if I could go on like this. But I was damn sure I didn’t want to go through this again.
For the first three months, my mother was present to care for me, to feed me, to assure me everything was going to be alright and to support me mentally and physically. Everything was okay until she had to return to her own responsibilities back home. After that, whenever I sat beside my little one, I felt that ‘dying’ was the only milestone I had left. I felt that I had to merely be a caretaker of this little girl, while she went through all the things in life like I did, and then be ready for the afterlife. I felt like my life was over.
In the months that followed, I had indeed slumped into dejection. I was sleep deprived. I would panic every time my daughter let out a sound. I would wake up every time I thought my daughter moved, even though she hadn’t reached that stage yet. Sometimes, I would wake up with shudders for no rhyme or reason. I read all the reasons because of which a baby could be crying, yet at times I would find myself crying along with her because I had no idea what else to do. Sometimes, her cry would make me so angry I would yell at her to keep shut and then immediately hug her tightly asking her to forgive me. I felt completely guilty and hopeless.
Deep down I always knew I wasn’t a bad person but I had started to have my doubts about the type of mother I was. I was alone at home all day, with my little one, wondering how the world could leave such a young soul completely under my care. What if something happened? My husband’s long working hours and our family’s history of lost siblings did not help me much. Though I was aware that the latter was all in His hands, I wondered if I had the ability to care for a tiny human being, efficiently.
Mainly, I thought I was a horrible mother because everywhere, everyone seemed to be so happy and in love with their babies but I, somehow, did not feel that way. I did not have those immense motherly feelings for my daughter though I knew I would do anything to protect her.
A couple of years later, when I was out of this weird phase, I realized that all the above symptoms came under ‘post-partum depression’ or ‘PPD’ and it was something almost every new mom experiences. I was relieved to know I was not the only one suffering with such emotions (though by this time I had overcome them). PPD is basically depression suffered by a mother after childbirth. This mostly arises from the combination of hormonal changes, psychological adjustments to motherhood and fatigue. Ultimately, it is the difficult transition from womanhood to motherhood that we go through. And any change in life is difficult and terrifying, isn’t it?
And in the midst of keeping the mother and baby healthy, the mother’s mental well-being is often compromised because according to the ‘norms’, we, women, are SUPPOSED to have babies, we are SUPPOSED to care for them, we are SUPPOSED to follow traditions, we are SUPPOSED to do things we are not able to do and we are SUPPOSED to ignore our feelings. But, after my second delivery, the only thing that saddened me was the distance between my daughter and me, for the first few days. Otherwise, I made sure that I did what I wanted to do. I didn’t let myself get into another episode of depression and I took care of myself as much as I could. I guess I became a mother who was aware so, I found ways to avoid the mental stress.
Hence, I would advise the to-be-moms and new moms to be conscious of the symptoms despite the household excitement of welcoming a new life. Unless you actually throw your baby out the window, everything else you feel is okay because the duration of PPD may vary depending on the steps taken to treat it. Therefore, I would request you to be mindful and go through the below suggestions in order to avoid/reduce/get over Post-Partum Depression. All the best!
Read more on PPD: Maternal Mental Health & 5 Warning Signs of PPD
Read How we became parents despite the Copper T!
#LetsBlogwithPri is a Blog Train hosted by Prisha Lalwani, Author at Mummasaurus. I wholeheartedly thank Disha Mehrotra, Author at Life My Way, for introducing me in her blog about tummy trouble remedies. Also, I would like to introduce Sweta Kachhap, Author at Cloud and Sunshine. Do read her review on a book for children.
Hosted By :Prisha Lalwani Mummasaurus.com IG: @mummasaurus1 FB: /mummasaurus1
45 Comments
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I had PPD during my first pregnancy. I used to cry every time my daughter cried during nights for the first month after delivery. Sleep deprivation affected me the most. This article sums it all. I did have to take any medications but I am glad I had a very supportive husband. The article is very well researched and nicely written. Kudos!
Thank you Durga.
Couldn’t agree more with your thoughts. Postpartum depression is real. I was going through that phase in my life, but everything is going to be okay as days go by.
I am too young to understand this in detail, however my Mami is a new mom, will share your blog with her. I am sure this will be helpful to her.
Yes do share it with her so she is aware.
Postpartum depression is so bad, many women suffers with it and thanks for sharing your story with us
Proud of you for having shared your story with the world. I too suffered from mild PPD and the advice you have listed is all good advice. Another thing I can add from personal experience that helped me, was to begin exercising- it is an instant mood enhancer and when you lose weight, you feel better too!
Oh wow. Exercising helped you? I tried but got lazy and started binge watching. 😬
Any sort of depression needs awareness and counseling. Good that you brought about a subject which is less discussed.
Hope you will forward this to spread awareness.
i have gone through this. and in my family no one could understand. wish i read such article before. very insightful.
Awwww. Even I took time to understand what I was going through. Hope you are better now.
I didn’t really knew what PPD was, i mean what it is actually wasn’t clear to me…I guess I have an idea now…this really needs awareness and attention…
Yes it does. Hope you forward it to spread awareness.
Post partum depression is a real thing and could get fatal. I have been through a very bad phase and it was so hard to recover. You have down a great job talking about it.
Thanks dear. Do share it if u know new mums.
Postpartum depression is so bad, that women in worst cases actually need a psychiatric help.
It’s a worst phase when alone, obviously we have our own doubts because we are new to everything. Well written Cindy can Definitely feel you.
Thanks Dimple.
postpartum depression is really bad and the best way to come out from that is take help of your relatives in friend talk to them and share your responsibility .
PPD is an unknown and something not easily detected phase which many women go through. I have been a victim and I know the pain of delaying it. Although it is only when I realise it was PPD.
Yeah that’s the sad thing. We don’t even realize it.
This is a helpful article. My pregnant friend was discussing about this with me few days back. Sharing the blog with her.
As new mothers all of us go through post partum depression. It’s not easy to accept it in the first place. It is very important to have an understanding husband and family around you. Your post is very helpful.. I could relate to do many points
This is so emotional and relatable! Touching post!
[…] instead. Listen to your baby and you will avoid a great deal of confusion and anger associated with post-partum depression too. All the […]
[…] MOTHER-BABY BOND: Breastfeeding helps the baby bond with the warmth of the mother. Because of this, the mother’s stress levels lessen during this difficult post-partum period. […]
Lovely article. We don’t even know if it’s real and happening until we’re deep into it. It definitely needs awareness. 🙂
Thanks dear!
PPD is a real issue affecting many and people don’t realize it. Thankfully, I had a support system, still at times I would cry for no reason. This post is informative and your experience hits home for many of us.
Thanks Disha. Do share it with friends and family that you feel may benefit from reading it.
I went thru ppd myself and so I can relate to what you went through. Glad that you were able to come out of it.
Thanks dear.
PPD is a very common issue nowadays but, the least addressed one. New mothers should get more and more support as they are dealing with alot of things anyway
So true! We can change the world for sure.
So Wonderfully write up.. This is so helpful article specially for new moms.. You did great.. 😊 ❤️
Thank you dear
I have gone through that slump too.. the down phase where I couldn’t understand how mothers can be happy, always tired by breastfeeding, taking care of baby, not having enough sleep and always attentive to baby’s needs. I too have changed my perspective for my second delivery and took care of myself and avoided negative thoughts. I could enjoy more time with my second child and be happy. Well written and I can relate to every word.
Thanks dear
Such an honest post Cindy! Loved reading this honest account. We all go through PPD at one time or the other, just that the intensity differs depending on the situation each one of us is in. Thank you for sharing.
Thanks for reading Aditi!
Wonderful article especially for new mums who do go through PPD and don’t even realize it. Many are always in denial, but it sneaks up on you and before you know it you are in deep. Thanks Cindy for sharing your story.
You’re welcome Ka! I’m hoping you are blessed enough to not have to go through such situations! Hugs and kisses!