SHOULD YOU DATE SOMEONE OF THE SAME AGE, YOUNGER OR OLDER TO YOU?

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SHOULD YOU DATE SOMEONE OF THE SAME AGE, YOUNGER OR OLDER TO YOU?

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I recently thought about my own dating experiences when I was questioned about the days of my “Pursuit of Happiness”. It seems like a lifetime ago, but I tried hard to recollect both the good and bad moments in order to answer that question. Was it the one where he was 12 years older than me? Or the ones where they were younger than I was? Or was dating guys around my age the best? And then I thought about which one topped them all? Did their age really affect my relationships? Did I ever dominate the younger ones? Or did the older ones abuse me? Or did the ones around my age have the same ideas as me?

With my experience of dating guys through the age spectrum, I, personally think that dating is merely what we are searching for in order to fill the void we feel. It is dependent on what personality you can handle and how much work, time and effort you are willing to put into your relationships. You cannot be looking for a modern guy and be an orthodox believer yourself. Things may or may not go well. Perhaps, if you enjoy your personal space, you may most likely not be able to date a guy who is a frequent caller. It is natural to feel suffocated.

All men are d… ifferent. Generalizing them based on their age or by their caste or nationality is probably the first mistake we make in a relationship. Anyone of them can be sweet, overprotective, caring, annoying, obsessed with food or sex, take a bullet for you, try your patience, have no time for you or abuse you. It really does not matter where they came from. And age is certainly not a determining factor for how your relationship turns out.

After all the guys I have dated, it is my fair conclusion that age is not an important aspect to date someone. Though society approves when a girl dates or marries a guy older and richer than she is, age generally does not make or break your relationship, in any way. If you find yourself trying to prove your worth regularly then that may not be a commitment you would want to get into. In some cases, after the initial enthusiasm dies away, you may find that you both do not feel or want the same things. If you have no fights, some believe that it’s not a real relationship.

So you see? Age does not matter. After all, most of us enter into a relationship to enhance our experiences of life. It’s a phase to help us relax and escape from the perils of life. It’s a safe space where you can let your hair down and truly be you.

For those of you who have been in unpleasant relationships, can you relate to my thoughts? Do share with me your thoughts and experiences on what is important to you in a relationship.

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Cindy D'Silva
Cindy D'Silva
Cindy D'Silva, a belly dancer, writer and artist, besides being a mother of two. She loves partying, bowling and eating sushi. There is more about her on the ABOUT ME page. Do check it out! :) Do like the facebook page too: https://www.facebook.com/blogaberry/

33 Comments

  1. Amrit Kaur says:

    As per my experience i believe that age doesn’t matter for a true and lovable relationship. What matters is understanding and honesty between both.

  2. Smita Pal says:

    I think that age doesn’t matter if two people have compatibility and understand to respect each other’s feeling and needs. As long as they are happy together I don’t see that an age gap should effect anyone.

  3. Snigdha says:

    I personally feel age doesn’t matter but society always point out if someone is dating younger or older age person .

  4. Judy Morris says:

    I agree to your conclusion. But I feel in today’s time couple of same age can relate better than those with a gap of two years or more. You know technologies change, priorities change and much more.

  5. Dr Bushra says:

    Agree that Age does not matter. But the society we are living in we all are judge if we date older or younger. And in case of girls they are also judge if they are 30+ while getting married.

  6. Surbhi says:

    You’re absolutely right. Age is just a number as long as both the partners are understanding and accomodating. I personally believe that the age gap balances the equation.

  7. Kavita Singh says:

    I couldn’t agree more with you on this Cindy, age is indeed a number when it comes to a successful relationship. What we need to understand is each relationship is always a work in progress project, one has to make genuine efforts towards it. Both parties are equally responsible to make the relationship perfect (it is never perfect).

  8. I have dated only one guy and married him too, he is 10 months older than me, I have no other experience. But i agree age does not matter at all.

  9. Varsh says:

    People of different ages give us different set of experiences. There’s no right or wrong with them. It depends on what we’re looking for in a relationship.

  10. Age is never a criteria if your thoughts are compatible. The foundation of any strong relationship is trust, respect and integrity that you share with your partner.

  11. MeenalSonal says:

    Age is a number and can be irrelevant if person’s thinking is matured. Though I don’t have any personal dating experience, be with person that makes you comfortable is the key as you also stated in the post.

  12. Dipika Singh says:

    I like the connection here, of feelings to the age, I would say an age-old battle of wishes and chances. Age and dating is retrospective I believe, one goes back to another or the vice versa. Though it is also clearly a personal choice like I wouldn’t like to date man who isn’t my age.

  13. Although I am not great at dating and all, but when it comes to long term relationship age surely doesn’t matter much. a younger person can be more matured than an older one. How both of them feel and carry the relationship is important.

  14. Actually age doesn’t matter, older or younger. It is the compatibility and interests that should match. This is the right way a marriage can survive.

  15. I truly agree age doesn’t matter whether a guy is older or girl is older. If you have the perfect understanding you will never loose enthusiasm. Both need to put efforts to keep the spark alive.

  16. rashmi says:

    beautifully written.. i have never dated a person younger than me so cant say about that.

  17. I totally agree with you. Age is just a number. It’s all about understanding, caring, respect and love towards each other which nourish the relation not the age.

  18. You have tapped a very nice topic. Even i feel that dating is about trying to find the right person for you for life. Its not necessary that dating shld turn into marrying that person and yes choosing the right person after gauging wht u want or desire frm that person in life is very imp. It’s not an area to be impulsive.

  19. As far as dating goes, you should always date someone who you love and who loves you back unconditionally for who you are – long-term, in both happiness and sadness. Age should not be a determining factor while dating someone; you can date someone younger, older, or same age.
    Dating should still be done the old school way; I find the new-age way of “hooking up” through dating apps ridiculous!

  20. I totally agree with you. Age is just a number. Its about understanding
    I loved this line : It’s a safe space where you can let your hair down and truly be you….so true

  21. Well you have touched such an important topic. My mom always brain washed me to date older guys and I ended up marrying someone 5 years my senior. Don’t know whether it’s good or bad.

  22. Abha Singh says:

    I agree with you age doesn’t matter as long as you feel comfortable with each other or respect each other’s feelings and space.

  23. Vishakha says:

    That was quite a fun read! On-point and brief. Nicely written.

  24. Manisha says:

    Dating or being in a relationship with a person with whom you are comfortable with and gets the best out of you is an important criterion for me.

  25. true. age does not matter… what matters is if the person is compatible to you and You enjoy his/her presence in your life .

  26. Raksha says:

    Absolutely age is just a number. It does not matter as long as there is compatibility between the couple. I have always told my friends that it is okay to date someone they like and that they should not have these inhibitions.

  27. I think age is a complex question and being a single gay man I have found it challenging … and while someone is older or younger, eventually the individual is key. Life remains a possibility.

  28. nadia kohli says:

    Cindy..i really like what you write. coming back to this topic. i agree..age is just a number. however considerable age difference should be there. basically in dating – the important thing is match wave length, thoughts, mutual respect. and how long will the couple want to take it.

  29. Sundeep says:

    The important things in every relationship (in my opinion) are trust, respect and honesty. You need to take care of every single detail to build a strong relationship. I love to date someone with same age group.

  30. Jenifer says:

    Ur experience will surely help out people and I concur with you that Age is not an important aspect to date.

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