ARE WE TAKING OUR LIVES FOR GRANTED? OR ARE WE LISTENING TO OUR HEARTS?

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June 17, 2019
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ARE WE TAKING OUR LIVES FOR GRANTED? OR ARE WE LISTENING TO OUR HEARTS?

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Having agreed to marry a beautiful girl a few years younger than him, Maxim wasn’t sure if it was love. He asked himself a number of times if he was ready to be committed. Was she the one he wanted to spend his life with? As long as he had his freedom, it did not matter whom he was marrying now, did it? He was getting engaged the next day.

A few days later, looking in the mirror, combing his hair behind, Maxim wondered if his life was heading in the right direction. Was she Ms. Right, or was there still time he wanted to spend a bachelor? This was only going through his mind because his mother wanted him to find a wife and he wasn’t sure if he was done with his single life. Or maybe he was. Thoughts running through his mind, he remembered the friends he had been putting off for a long time and decided he should meet those who have been close to him, all his life, more frequently.

When I asked him how he had come to choose this girl in particular, he blurted out his feelings to me. I could see it was not love, yet he was to wed at the end of that year. I felt like he was forced into something he did not really want.

Looking far into space, he replied that he had felt nothing different when he had agreed a month ago as well as during the engagement but lately he was coming to like the idea of having someone to call his soul-mate. Another friend, John, and I smiled at each other and then looked at him but couldn’t make out if Maxim blushed as he generally had a smiling face.

Maxim, John, Ronald and Ace were buddies for as long as they could remember while Ryder joined the foursome later in life. I joined just a few years ago because I married Ace. They all went to the same school and therefore, all of them knew about the several girls each of them had dated, except John, who barely took the initiative to have a girlfriend. Maxim, Ronald, Ace and Ryder had a nifty few to spice up their youth.

Then came that fateful Valentine morning when numerous calls woke us up from the deep slumbers. We had only hit the sack at 5am. Ace and I received news that something bad had happened to Maxim. I felt my heart fall into a bottomless pit because I had spoken to Maxim only the previous evening. He had said to my two year old daughter, “I’m waiting to meet you and squeeze you!” and we all laughed. We were to meet him and his new gang of friends, including his fiance, the next day. A tragedy changed all that and left a miserable void in all our lives.

Three days later, we still couldn’t believe that Maxim was no more with us. A fatal accident took away the life of a dear friend, a friend who barely lost his temper or yelled at anyone who annoyed him. Why? I failed to understand how the forces above could take away someone so nice while the horrible ones still remain hail and hearty around us. With tears filled in our eyes, we saw him there, lying lifeless in a casket made just for him, in the suit made for his wedding. The once joyful character lay there, silent, and none of us could do anything to bring him back.

Along with a crowd of more than five hundred people, John, Ryder, Ace and I attended the funeral with heavy hearts, while, sadly, circumstances did not allow Ronald to be a part of it despite copious efforts. We had lost someone close to us. Someone some of us had known for more than three decades. Someone who was one of us. Someone who was laughing with us just a week ago.

It was all too much for us to digest. Walking back home after the gloomy burial, John, Ace and I secretly vowed to ourselves to never take anyone for granted, especially those close to us. Deep down, we decided to be the best we could and be available to the ones close to us at all times.

Though it is impossible to forget someone so near once they have left for their heavenly abode, I’ve learnt that eventually, time is the only healer. The pain just fades away. Life goes on to give us, those still existing, another chance to be better people and better friends. Life also gives us another chance to realize that we must not take our precious lives for granted.

Personally, what I took back from this horrible episode was that you have to listen to your heart and go with the flow. Keep negative people away and concentrate on those who love you and crave for your attention and love. This episode was a turning point in our lives. Has the loss of someone changed your life and your purpose to live? Has it made you realize who are the people you need to spend quality time with? Has a tragic situation brought you to understand life better? Do post your views and comments.

Cindy D'Silva
Cindy D'Silva
Cindy D'Silva, besides being a mother of two angels, is a belly dancer, writer and photographer. She loves partying, bowling and eating sushi. There is a detailed biography about her on the ABOUT ME page in case you would like to know more. :)You can like and follow her Facebook page to get all updates on the latest blogs and more: https://www.facebook.com/blogaberry/

32 Comments

  1. One of our friends, the life of the party and a guy with a heart of gold….left from Pune with a promise to catch up with us for a movie in 4 hours. We lost him 2 hours after that phone call. That tragic accident taught me that life is very short and we need to value our friends and family – always. I am so sorry for your loss – my heart goes out to you, Cindy. Warm hugs.

  2. Papri Ganguly says:

    Taking everything for granted is our habit. If we get something easily and without any effort, we tend to take those things for granted. How beautifully you describe that fact in this blog.

  3. Varsh says:

    Sad as it may be, we don’t value life until we’re faced with a devastating situation. I lost my mom few years ago and that did change something in me. I respect my time, my health and my own happiness lot more now.

  4. Taking people for granted is habit we all need to change and respect plus cherish the moments we can have with loved ones. Agree that keeping negative people at bay we can have good time with people around us , the one who matter us the most.

  5. I agree! Life is unpredictable and we have to face all the happy and sorrow moments, positive energy and positive people help us to come out of this. Beautifully explained.

  6. Jhilmil says:

    Such a deep post it is, it is often said that you value that thing, when you lose it. We should never take things for granted and invest time with close friends and family.

  7. I lost my father wen I was 13, that was the time when one barely thinks about all this. But as tme passed and we moved on with life and I saw how my mom raised me n my brother, I had awesome respect for her. And now that I am a mom, i fear loss of anyone in my family. I dread with the idea of it.

  8. Yes agree with you completely we all have take it for granted attitude in our lives and never appreciate the things or people that we had already. when something tragic happen when realized what matters most in life. loved the end msg of your post and I agree life become more meaningful and pleasant when concentrate on those you love us crave for our attention and love.

  9. Snigdha says:

    I always believe in staying away from negative people and only care about the people loves you . Life always try to teach us in different ways and we need to accept the lessons by life . Beautiful write up.

  10. Ruchi Verma says:

    We often don’t take people seriously who are most important in our lives and ignore them …we must listen to them and understand the value of relationships!!

  11. Alpana says:

    You are right, we take people who are most important to us for granted until-something tragic happens and we realize their importance. We unnecessarily spend too much time in thinking and giving importance to what others day, get severely affected with negative comments and negative people but they are not our true possessions.

  12. People always forget that they should live the present but not for future. Enjoy each moment of this world, love the loved ones

  13. Death is a constant reminder that we must live in the present moment fully.

    Thanks for this wonderful blog post.

  14. Such a thoughtful article! I always love reading your posts Cindy!

  15. Gayathri says:

    Love the story that you have written to teach the importance of life and the art of listening to positive thoughts. Never experienced anything tragic but marriage has taught me a lot. I love your way of writing. Looking forward to read more

  16. This is such a poignant account of a personal tragedy. Indeed death always comes unexpectedly and silently and wreaks havoc, but it is indeed one of the realities of lifeitself.

  17. It is a beautiful episode you have narrated here. Your narration is wonderful. Loved reading this

  18. Humaira says:

    Amazing and beautiful post. The second half of the story is so interesting. we should keep ourself away from negative vibes. Very well written. Great thoughts.

  19. Such a dope post… And I’m sure many can relate also… You are very strong and I love your way of writing 🙂

  20. negative people always attract to the positive & try to drag them to negativity….its better to learn to keep them away & stay happy. Beautiful post..just loved it

  21. Sundeep says:

    Happiness and sadness all parts of life. The key is to create a perfect balance. Moreover love is a matter of heart and the struggle between listening to heart and mind is real.

  22. Ruchi Verma says:

    It is sometimes we don’t understand what life wants to teach us but it’s really important to learn from life!! I just loved the post!!

  23. Sweta says:

    You have written it so well and yes we should keep youuself away from negative people. Loved the way you presented the whole story.

  24. I was loving reading this interesting post, got myself so very indulged in it that I completely forgot about the stuff I was doing. :p

    Though the second half of the post was unexpected. Someone like that going away all of a sudden is quite a shocker.

    I myself have been in some tragic cross paths with friends, and leaving me to realise, sometimes some people are better left go separate ways.

  25. I have learnt my lesson too. I stay away from narcissists and negative people. I think you should write for international magazines too.

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