February 12, 2017
Stop comparing
March 23, 2017
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Sipping on some hot tea on a semi cool winter morning and watching the jets practise for the upcoming Air Show, I realise it’s Valentine’s Day tomorrow. Apparently, meat is banned around this side of town to avoid the scavengers from interrupting the display so we, pure carnivores, will have to go in search of our prey beyond the radius of the show. The clothes, in my washing machine, are whirring to a sound that seems like they are going to wing their way to the fan thereby exhibiting a mini air show right in my home. I need a new machine as this one’s as old as our marriage. It has been only eight years since the legal knot but we are together since ten and I still remember the initial days when we were just friends who would funnily discuss the qualities we wanted in our life partners.

We were on our way back from an event that night and waited in the car with a few friendsw. While one of them ran to finish an important errand he had conveniently forgotten about, a guy friend and I began to talk. Casual chit chats led me to poke my unsuspecting potential husband about the talents he wanted in his soul mate; something which both of us were never in search of. So, we both began thinking about what exactly we wanted in our spouses, as my question was curiously thrown back at me too. That night we also confided in each other about our pardonable pasts and the mushy moments we never spoke about once they had taken place long ago.

He wanted a tall and sexy woman with blue eyes; someone who was the talk of town and envy among his friends. He wanted someone with a face like Aishwarya Rai, body like Jennifer Lopez and legs like Sharon Stone. I had been through enough grave relationships to want qualities like tall, dark and handsome anymore. Some men, who I admired from afar, spat a cork and clogged my adrenaline rush once they opened their mouths. Sometimes the men are so over-the-moon confident about their looks that they forget about qualities like speech, warmth and respect. So, I told him that I wanted someone who thought like I did because I wasn’t sure why my mind was way different from the guys I had dated. I always thought on a different level and went into deep thought processes when things didn’t go right. That said, the conversation was unintentionally teased about every now and then until we found that we liked spending a lot of time with each other.

Soon, we began indulging in tête-à-têtes and pheromones totally unaware of where it was heading.

Wearily, I got to know that he had a mind weirder than mine and we separated only to feel my heart aching to meet him. A few days later, after missing each other’s company, we got together and he proposed. Surprisingly, I said yes though I did not satisfy his visual criteria of a soul mate one bit. Neither did I fit his mother’s image of a daughter-in-law.

Almost going deaf with the sound of a jet engine, I think I’m glad I made that choice back then. Marriage looks like a piece of cake until you dive into it and find out how sticky it can get. You may enjoy the icing for a while but the bitter berries and nuts are all a part of it. And, only if you find the right nut to crack, you will enjoy it, irrespective of how the cake used to look before it was cut.

Sometimes in the middle of certain situations, I think back and wonder how my past relationships would’ve handled it. Would I feel free enough to paint or write if I were still in them? Would I be belly dancing and performing on stages? Would I care for my kids the way I am doing at present?

Maybe or maybe not. I think everything happens for the best and in the end LOVE is all you need, but with a little bit of freedom too, right?

Quote of the century:

“Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age, so that as your beauty fades, his eyesight will too.” – Hahaha!

Smile and have a happy Valentine’s Day with your loved ones! ;))

Cindy D'Silva
Cindy D'Silva
Cindy D'Silva, besides being a mother of two angels, is a belly dancer, writer and photographer. She loves partying, bowling and eating sushi. There is a detailed biography about her on the ABOUT ME page in case you would like to know more. :) You can like and follow her Facebook page to get all updates on the latest blogs and more:


  1. Can’t be a better blog post considering that Valentine’s Day is near. Your personal anecdotes make it very interesting.

  2. Nitya chawla says:

    I love to read whatever you write. This one also is very touchy.

  3. Once again an excellent piece of writing by you. Loved reading it.

  4. Cute little story, loved reading it.

    Next best part of the post, the quote :D…Best was the story of you two getting along…it was a nice read, and yes “Love is all what we need”

  5. Jenifer says:

    Loved the quote. Totally agree with it . Lol. I will share this to my friends.

    Btw is this your quote or someone else.

  6. Anjel says:

    Well written

  7. AJ Fernandes says:

    Hmmmmm…. Interesting

  8. Lorraine says:

    Hahah! Love it.. esp the last quote! 😀

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