It all began when a decision was made. My husband and I were to leave the country I’ve been moulded in to a country I barely knew. The latter being our native land. Depression took over my life and I barely knew how I got through it all.

I had left Mother, Brother and Doggy behind and was a temporary house-wife with few family and friends of my own. I hoped things would change once I started working for a salary outside the house. But, during the course of job hunting, Doggy passed on from depression back in the Gulf, I got pregnant here in India and while the husband was away at work all day, I almost went into desolation again. This happened all in the duration of four months.

My three month break turned into years. I had decided to go to work a few months after I landed in town but when we got to know we were pregnant, the idea of fainting in the office or puking in the ride to work did not seem motivating enough for me. I had never worked in India before. Though none of the sicknesses caught me, I decided to go job hunting after my delivery, just in case something grave did happen. But when I looked into my daughter’s eyes, I decided that she needed my presence more than anything in the world. Slowly, I realized that my designation turned from ‘Customer Service Representative’ to ‘Stay-At-Home-Mom’.

My full-time working mother had brought us up without any kind of help so I asked myself why I couldn’t do it being at home. So, my decision of not keeping a nanny proved to be a good one because, as I was busy all day, I soon got over my postpartum depression that had made me feel like my life was over. Today, I am a happy stay-at-home-mom because:

IT WASN’T A FORCED DECISION: Never in a million years did I imagine myself staying at home and being financially dependent on someone. My friends were totally baffled with this decision of mine and a few thought it was the forceful decision of the husband until I cleared their doubts! They wondered how a crazy, social, party animal, who was out of the house almost fifteen hours a day, would suddenly stay at home 24/7. The most surprised was my husband who prayed my decision wouldn’t prove to be torturing to him.

I had always assumed that I would go back to work after my delivery, but when I looked at my daughter and she smiled at me, I knew she needed me around to feed, clean and cuddle her. I would take advantage of my time and spend it with her whether it was by while eating, watching a movie, dancing on our favourite numbers, singing on Smule (Follow me) or going for a walk. I knew I wanted to be available.

I CAN CONCENTRATE ON MYSELF: The initial days will be a little tough but once the children start with school, you can find time for yourself. I’m not the kind who will bother myself too much about daily household chores that can always be done the next day. So, once my kids were off to school, I began taking care of myself by eating healthy, visiting the salon to keep my feet pretty and hairstyle intact, attending belly dance classes, hanging out with my girlfriends (very important to keep your sanity together) and playing board games and cards with the husband.

I CAN SLEEP A LITTLE EXTRA: For me, my beauty sleep has always been important. Even before marriage and babies, though I would be out almost every night after work, I would faithfully catch up on my sleep one day for, around, sixteen hours straight. Now, I sometimes sleep when my babies do or just let them play while I snooze beside them. I organize my errands according to my need for sleep.

I AM DEPENDENTLY INDEPENDENT: I call myself an INDEPENDENT SAHM (stay at home mom) as I supervise the household chores, keep the babies smiling, drive them to their schools and back, take them out to play or have an ice-cream, run outdoor errands, pay the bills and also travel alone with the little ones! Of course, all this under the funding by my darling husband! So, despite being financially dependent, I’m also free from anyone’s authority.

I WORK FROM MY COMFORT ZONE: Patrick Overton once said, “When you walk to the edge of all the light you have and take that first step into the darkness of the unknown, you must believe that one of two things will happen. There will be something solid for you to stand upon or you will be taught to fly.” I diligently believed in this quote all through my postpartum days with hopes that my depression, loneliness and boredom would soon come to an end. Today, I have found my ways, past all that, and I work from home, like many mothers, while my kids are asleep or away at school. So, here I am now, a writer, brand influencer (My Instagram link), product and food reviewer (My Zomato link), dancer and photographer besides being a mother of two little people.

Happy SAHM

Travelling with kids

I’m quite content with myself and my decision to be a stay-at-home-mother. Are you happy with your decision too? Tell us about it. You can contact us on [email protected]

Be the woman who lifts up other women and share this post to empower, encourage or inspire those who need it. Wish you all a positive future!

This post is a part of the #MomsSpeakUp Blog Train hosted by Prisha and Nayantara Hegde. I would like to thank Aishwarya Sandeep for introducing me in her blog. Read her take on the prompt here (BEING AISHWARYA). I would like to introduce Aashiqa Raweez. I’m sure you will enjoy reading her take on the prompt here (EARLY MOTHER).

Hosted By :

#Mummasaurus
#MommyingBabyT

Cindy D'Silva
Cindy D'Silva
Cindy D'Silva, besides being a mother of two angels, is a belly dancer, writer and photographer. She loves partying, bowling and eating sushi. There is a detailed biography about her on the ABOUT ME page in case you would like to know more. :) You can like and follow her Facebook page to get all updates on the latest blogs and more: https://www.facebook.com/blogaberry/

35 Comments

  1. Dr Bushra says:

    Exploring our strength despite all odds is not an easy task. Kudos to your determination. Inspiring for women

  2. Being a stay at home mom has helped me open to lot of avenues and I am enjoying it fully. However, it surely is not that easy as it looks.

  3. Tina Basu says:

    I have quit my corporate job post-delivery and only because I am less stressed now I can do a variety of work. I can devote equal time to my son, to my freelance work and content writing work. I am rather more satisfied now mentally.

  4. Snigdha says:

    Stay at home mom is not a easy job at all. I am also a stay at home mother and before that I used to work . initially it was a little difficult to makeup mind but gradually it feels good by looking at the pro side .

    • Veena Regit says:

      I worked after delivery for an year and a half. I quit post That and I sometimes regert there decision; but sometimes I am thankful for the time I have to take care of the kids.

  5. Amrit Kaur says:

    You are doing a great job by being at home. This is not less than a full time job because women at home work all day long.

  6. Varsh says:

    Being an SAHM can be a blessing if we are prepared to look at it that way. My experience was similar to yours and I love being in charge of home and myself now.

  7. MeenalSonal says:

    Yes initial acceptance is difficult, but when we look at pro sides of it we know stay at home mom are doing great.

  8. Roma says:

    You poured your heart our in this one Cindy, more power to you darling ♥️♥️

  9. Ruchi Verma says:

    Stay at home mother, or as I say ..Domestic engineer, we are doing a wonderful job and yes as you said it’s not a forced decision by a happy choice even I have taken up!!

  10. rashmi Chand says:

    some wonderful points mentioned here. yes, most of us have that guilt of being financially dependent on our spouses. some yrs ago I had written a post on Pros and cons of being a SAHM n working mom.

    please do check it out too- https://notjustmommying.com/2017/07/24/stay-at-home-mothers-vs-working-mothers-bloggers-marathon-entry/

  11. So many of your readers have a similar story Cindy. We all sailing the same boat. Acceptance matters a lot.

  12. I am also a stay at home mom of two kids. I was in the teaching profession so I miss the feel of such beautiful tiny souls. I joined again to fill the gap. In the next 1or 2 years, I want to join again. I am glad you are enjoying your journey.

  13. Alpana Deo says:

    Cindy , I hear you. Whatever decision you make should be yours and noone has any right to raise any questions. I believe, whatever choice we make working, SAH, WAH, we should be happy about it.

  14. Such an amazing post. Marriage changes a lot of things and the choice to work or not is also dependent on a lot of variables. You did the right thing!

    https://www.rahulprabhakar.com

  15. That is quite inspirational for the ones finding it tough to adjust in new places or after marriage etc…it’s not just helping women in similar circumstances but anyone can take inspiration from this.

  16. Noor Anand Chawla says:

    I agree with everything you have said in this post. Women should not be judged for any life decisions they make.

  17. It’s so lovely to read your journey Cindy! We are proud stay at home mums!

  18. Manisha Garg says:

    A similar story. I still have my ups and downs though but I am able to do something on my own and follow my passion of writing which is a plus.

  19. Its the same story here too. However, this away from full time job has given me a wider scope to do something I had always wanted to, that is to write.

  20. Jameela says:

    Hey lovely write up I loved how u call urself dependently independent…😀 How well u take care of urself n make it a priority…🤗

  21. Shipra Mittal says:

    Loved the blog…it’s like my thoughts expressed by someone else

  22. Beautifully expressed dear💕💕
    It feels really good to know that every mother sacrifice and am not at all alone in this journey
    Loved it 😊😊👍

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