It all began when a decision was made. My husband and I were to leave the country I’ve been moulded in to a country I barely knew. The latter being our native land. Depression took over my life and I barely knew how I got through it all.
I had left Mother, Brother and Doggy behind and was a temporary house-wife with few family and friends of my own. I hoped things would change once I started working for a salary outside the house. But, during the course of job hunting, Doggy passed on from depression back in the Gulf, I got pregnant here in India and while the husband was away at work all day, I almost went into desolation again. This happened all in the duration of four months.
My three month break turned into years. I had decided to go to work a few months after I landed in town but when we got to know we were pregnant, the idea of fainting in the office or puking in the ride to work did not seem motivating enough for me. I had never worked in India before. Though none of the sicknesses caught me, I decided to go job hunting after my delivery, just in case something grave did happen. But when I looked into my daughter’s eyes, that year in 2012, I decided that she needed my presence more than anyone else in the world. Slowly, I realized that my designation turned from ‘Customer Service Representative’ to ‘Stay-At-Home-Mom’.
My full-time working mother had brought us up without any kind of help so I asked myself why I couldn’t do it being at home. So, my decision of not keeping a nanny proved to be a good one because, as I was busy all day, I soon got over my postpartum depression that had made me feel like my life was over. Today, I am a happy stay-at-home-mom because:
Never in a million years did I imagine myself staying at home and being financially dependent on someone. My friends were totally baffled with this decision of mine and a few thought it was the forceful decision of the husband until I cleared their doubts! They wondered how a crazy, social, party animal, who was out of the house almost fifteen hours a day, would suddenly stay at home 24/7. The most surprised was my husband who prayed my decision wouldn’t prove to be torturing to him.
I had always assumed that I would go back to work after my delivery, but when I looked at my daughter and she smiled at me, I knew she needed me around to feed, clean and cuddle her. I would take advantage of my time and spend it with her whether it was by while eating, watching a movie, dancing on our favourite numbers, singing on Smule (Follow me) or going for a walk. I knew I wanted to be available.
The initial days will be a little tough but once the children start with school, you can find time for yourself. I’m not the kind who will bother myself too much about daily household chores that can always be done the next day. So, once my kids were off to school, I began taking care of myself by eating healthy, visiting the salon to keep my feet pretty and hairstyle intact, attending belly dance classes, hanging out with my girlfriends (very important to keep your sanity together) and playing board games and cards with the husband.
For me, my beauty sleep has always been important. Even before marriage and babies, though I would be out almost every night after work, I would faithfully catch up on my sleep one day for, around, sixteen hours straight. Now, I sometimes sleep when my babies do or just let them play while I snooze beside them. I organize my errands according to my need for sleep.
I call myself an INDEPENDENT SAHM (stay-at-home-mom) as I supervise the household chores, keep the babies smiling, drive them to their schools and back, take them out to play or have an ice-cream, run outdoor errands, pay the bills and also travel alone with the little ones! Of course, all this under the funding by my darling husband! So, despite being financially dependent, I’m also free from anyone’s authority.
Patrick Overton once said, “When you walk to the edge of all the light you have and take that first step into the darkness of the unknown, you must believe that one of two things will happen. There will be something solid for you to stand upon or you will be taught to fly.” I diligently believed in this quote all through my postpartum days with hopes that my depression, loneliness and boredom would soon come to an end. Today, I have found my ways, past all that, and I work from home, like many mothers, while my kids are asleep or away at school. So, here I am now, a writer, brand influencer (My Instagram link), product and Google reviewer, dancer and photographer besides being a mother of two little people.
I’m quite content with myself and my decision to be a stay-at-home-mother. Are you happy with your decision too? Tell us about it. You can contact us on [email protected].
Be the woman who lifts up other women and share this post to empower, encourage or inspire those who need it. Wish you all a positive future!
This post is a part of the #MomsSpeakUp Blog Train hosted by Prisha and Nayantara Hegde. I would like to thank Aishwarya Sandeep for introducing me in her blog. Read her take on the prompt here (BEING AISHWARYA). I would like to introduce Aashiqa Raweez. I’m sure you will enjoy reading her take on the prompt here (EARLY MOTHER).
Cover photo by Vasumathi Ponday