INNER FEELINGS – STOP COMPARING YOUR WHOLE LIFE TO ONE PERFECT PICTURE

Social media is a boon and yet, for some, it proves to be a curse. Admiring other people’s lives and comparing it with your own has become an ‘everyday’ feeling. You can actually sense the aroma of that perfect bun that a food blogger just got out of the oven. You wish your eyes looked as perfect as in the photograph on that make-up artist’s (MUA) page. You yearn to click a perfectly whacky photo with your spouse just like that couple does while throwing some couple goals at you every week. And, browsing, through some random tourist’s picture-perfect travel shots, makes you want to leave everything and just fly there.

But, what is the reality behind those pictures? How many times did that food blogger have to practice to finally get that seamless shape and right consistency? Imagine the amount of editing that photograph went through in order to make those eyes look flawless! Does that couple have no tension or misunderstandings at all after portraying their happy pictures? And, do you know how much that tourist may be spending on gadgets, travel, drones and editing software in order to get those scenic landscapes look perfect? And what about their family lives while they are away from home?

Talking about family, people assume that a perfect picture means that you have the perfect family. Firstly, let me tell you that no one and nothing is perfect. It’s just a conception of something you look at as IDEAL. And, your definition of perfect may not be the same as mine. Let me give you an example.

STOP COMPARING YOUR WHOLE LIFE

Some of you may perceive this picture of mine as a perfectly happy family. You then begin comparing your whole life with this faultless photograph of mine. No wrinkles, all smiles, great poses, fair skinned, financially stable, etc. But, let me tell you why you should stop comparing your whole life to one perfect picture.

  1. My kids get yelled at every single day. Just like you, we have to deal with tantrums because I’m pretty strict when it comes to healthy food, manners and behaviour. Do I look like a strict mom with those innocent eyes? Hahaha!
  2. Generally, if you drop into my home unannounced, you will find me looking homeless. My hair uncombed for days, wearing the same shirt for three days and probably smelling of onions. We Indians eat a lot of onions! Like my daughter told my mother, “Mamma only brushes her hair and puts on her make up because she has to look nice in the picture or video.” Due to the pandemic, I actually have ‘roaming’ pants now because I barely get out of the house. So, don’t be surprised if you see me with the same trousers at the supermarket every week. Yes, mostly, I am quite lazy when it comes to dressing up.
  3. My house is a mess. With no maid for 8 months, I clean the house once a month. I cannot stress myself with cleaning the whole house, washing all the utensils and doing all the laundry every single day! So whenever I have to click a picture or create a video for a brand, I dress up, ask my kids to look decent, clear a corner of my house and give it my best.
  4. Some of you admire the way my kids act in front of the camera. Yes, they are confident but, let me tell you that I have to still bribe my son with extra television time or ice-cream to actually get him to smile or act in the video. My daughter throws her weight around if I need her to click a photo of me. She prefers being in front of the camera at all times.
  5. Our flawless faces have been edited by the studio. I have freckles, my daughter was badly tanned after some harsh sun exposures and the boys are generally darker than shown in the picture.
  6. As a family, we also have our bad times, calculating every penny we spend, prioritizing certain requirements over not-so-important things. So, it is not only you who got a penalty for not paying your bills. We are all in the same boat.
  7. You cannot imagine how my recycle bin gets clogged while I’m trying to get a good picture clicked (of me). Many times the number of pictures clicked (by husband or kids) exceeds 200 while I feel my smile slowly fading away trying to get a shot which has the right angle, good smile, clarity and brightness. The whole process of getting a decent photo of myself at home takes around an hour or more. In the above photograph, we had more than 50 shots to choose from where all of us are smiling, especially my son who’s eyes are always distracted and looking everywhere else but at the camera.
  8. My plant pots or books stand as my tripod. I am a bibliomania and I used to be a bibliophile once upon a time. But, if it is a bathroom shot, then I use hard liquor containers to hold my camera in place. Economical, aren’t I?
STOP COMPARING YOUR WHOLE LIFE
Pin it like it’s hot!

So you see, just comparing your whole life to one perfect picture isn’t a wise thing to do. Avoid killing yourself trying to be perfect just because you think that someone else seems so. Don’t go trying to do everything just because some else is doing something. Instead, find something that makes you happy and pursue that without any excuses.

We all have fears, tears, poor days, sad days, etc. Not to mention how life in general can be depressing, especially now. While many of us try and get beyond the negative and look positive, others tend to sit with the negative and pity themselves their whole lives. STOP! This will not help you at all. DON’T!! NEVER, ever compare your life to that one moment of perfection on someone else’s social media handle. Instead, get around your problems and swim beyond the turbulences in your life.

Feature Photo by August de Richelieu from Pexels

Cindy D'Silva
Cindy D'Silva
Cindy D'Silva, besides being a mother of two angels, is a belly dancer, writer and photographer. She loves partying, bowling and eating sushi. There is a detailed biography about her on the ABOUT ME page in case you would like to know more. :)You can like and follow her Facebook page to get all updates on the latest blogs and more: https://www.facebook.com/blogaberry/

30 Comments

  1. Gunjan Upadhyay says:

    Haha, quite a story of mah life Cindy, I too dress up only when someone informs and comes, else I too look homeless. Quite appreciate you brought this up! We should stop comparing ourselves, there is nothing like picture perfect

  2. Hansa Kajaria says:

    Loved this Cindy. Its imp to be happy in what you have den be worried about what you dont. Being content is the key.

  3. Aishwarya says:

    Completely agree with you. And you have my complete respect with telling how it goes behind the scenes in a family. No family or relationship is always perfect. I always use myself as a comparison. “Am I better than I was yesterday?”. That is the only mantra I require to keep moving forward.

  4. Cindy, it gives so muh strength when people bloggers like us talk about reality. That even we are not picture perfect and that it’s totally wrong for us or anyone else to compare their lives to someone and unnecessarily feel bad.

  5. The world loves perfection but perfection is boring. In this time and age, we just see picture perfect couples having the ugliest splits. Life is much more than what we expect at times and you have presented a true perspective.

  6. That is absolutely true! None of us know what is behind that perfectly framed photo and what sorrows lie behind those perfect smiles.

  7. Cindy , my respect for you grew with your honesty ! We all take on so much pressure to have perfect homes , perfect figures and Perfect lives . It is quite unfair to oneself !

  8. I can relate to it. Even I have to struggle a lot to get one perfect picture and would wish that no one thinks that my life is all perfect.

  9. True, social media always makes a person feel how perfect other person is but reality is something else. You have shared a reality. Don’t get fooled by picture, live your life to the fullest. Not because of others.

  10. That’s a honest post Cindy. We all are not perfect and should neither look for perfect picture. The pressure of Social media makes people look for similar things in reality too.

  11. You have a way with writing. You mentioned it so well which nurtured in my thoughts since quite a while. Life cannot be compared to one simple shot.so true.

  12. Jenifer says:

    Very nicely expressed the thoughts. It is so much hard work for that perfect click. It took me 3hours for 55sec video to make.

    And yeah recently I purchased tripod in reasonable rate. U can check on amazon.

  13. What a helpful post for mental health. I totally agree with this post . Surely sharing this with the needy ones . ❤️

  14. Yes, I agree to get that one perfect picture you have to click so many. Even my recycle bin gets clogged with deleted images. Post was brilliant and reliable

  15. Sundeep says:

    I always prefer to find something that makes me happy. And I am totally agree you on this that “Don’t go trying to do everything just because some else is doing something.” Thanks for sharing this amazing article with us.

  16. SwatiMathur says:

    Haha.. I loved those examples Cindy and can’t tell you how much I relate to all of them but on serious front.. Acceptance is the key. Accept the way you are as anything perfect is just a myth.

  17. Urvashi says:

    What a candid post just like you fierce and truthful. It is very important for all of us to understand and be happy with our lives. Comparison with others is wrong and only takes us the wrong way

  18. Love the way you boldly state home truths. yes, no one is perfect but most people keep hankering after it. Even I am dressed n my yoga pants all the time.Women go after cleaning the house as if they will be awarded for it. yes, we have to keep our home clean but there should not be an OCD about it.

  19. Neha says:

    Absolutely agree with you 👍 very well written loved reading it 💕

  20. Such an honest and straight from heart post and I agree that grass always look greener on other side. Social media make many people depress when they see picture perfect life of other. But in reality we all have our own set of struggles and challenges and somehow we all hide it smartly on SM. Loved your take on this Cindy.

  21. Ishieta says:

    I agree with you. I too, very consciously disengaged from the comparison syndrome. It’s easy to believe only a photograph and miss the bigger picture.

  22. Snigdha says:

    You said true.. we should understand reel life and real life are different. Even the same situation at my house also like yours.

  23. arti singh says:

    Such a beautifully articulated and something to adapt to in Real life

  24. Pratibha says:

    You are absolutely right, we must never compare our lives and enjoy it to the fullest just the way we are

  25. Totally agree with you Cindy, I too totally believe in not comparing yourself to any 1 or a perfect picture

  26. That was a thought provoking post. Your picture looks beautiful but as you rightly pointed it this is life and it cannot be a bed of roses even if it seems like it.

  27. Sadvika says:

    Such a raw blog post!! I could feel.it was just my life too! And that fact about bribing kids for a picture is so true! 👍🏼👍🏼😘

  28. Alpana Deo says:

    Completely agree Cindy. Most of the Social Media pictures do not tell the true behind the scene story. There is nothing like perfect. We try to live in an illusion thinking that we are giving a perfect shot.

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