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WHY A BABYSITTER WHEN I’M A S-A-H-M?

Babysitter?

So, here I am, sitting in peace, watching the sun shine through the trees, right in front of my window, listening to the clear sound of the birds chirping in the skies. I, somehow, never noticed that spider webs were unevenly distributed all over the ceiling of my balcony. How come I noticed it today? It’s because my daughter is at school and my baby is at the babysitter. Yes, I’m a stay-at-home-mother but I still keep him with the babysitter for around four hours per day. I can use this time to sleep as well. All of you know how sleep deprived a mother, to a one-year-old, can be.

Everyone gives me a weird look when I tell them that my baby is not at home during the mornings. It is like asking me why I needed a babysitter if I’m not a working mother. Housewives, or home-makers, are supposed to do house chores and handle the kids at home. Anyway, along with my daughter, my little son is also out of the house for those few hours. I get back home after dropping them off to their respective workplaces and head to the kitchen to prepare a delicious breakfast, poached eggs and bacon, which I can devour in peace. Please note that the word ‘peace’ will be used many times in this piece of writing. So, I eat and relish what I’ve prepared at the same time without having my heart in my mouth because my son is dancing on a chair (he can barely walk yet).

Yes, he is in the very next building which is only twenty steps from mine. I need that time to be with my husband. We need the time to spend as a couple. I need that time alone with him to punch and scratch him because he yelled at me, in front of the kids, the previous day. I am too good a mother to reciprocate in the same manner when my children are around, so I wait, until the time is right, to attack.

How many of you have had to place a stool in the lavatory so your little one can sit and watch you bathe or relieve yourself while answering a hundred questions? Well, I did this with my daughter but my son wants to get off it and examine the bathroom brushes and to my disgust, the drain. Imagine the stress I do not have to put up with if I have a bath during the few hours he is enjoying himself with the other children at the crèche. My body and internal system, both, remain clean and I feel fresh.

Check ways to spend more ME TIME on yourself!

I have been trying to watch ‘Suits’ ever since the first season was released. I was unable to concentrate due to the noise and questions and barks thrown in my face. I gave up. Now, I can even watch a movie during this time while keeping my hands occupied with painting something, without trying to save the paints from being picked up and upturned by a curious toddler. I’m still not used to not having him around in the mornings, so I look around suspiciously before I begin painting. Will show you what I’ve painted once I’m done with it.

Walking around while carrying seven kilograms on your shoulders is not a joke and pushing a stroller carrying seven kilograms in it, isn’t a joke either. Everywhere I go, I’ve been pushing a baby carriage since 2012. It’s 2017 and nothing has changed, except for the weight and gender relaxing in the pram that tags along with me. Whether I have to buy the groceries or shape my eyebrows, I have to drive the carriage wherever I go. Now, I can schedule a pedicure during these few hours of mine. I can also pass by the gift shop in peace otherwise I am busy dragging the little one out, and forcing the unwanted toy out of his little hands but tight grip.

Let’s face it, the older you get, whether you are young at heart or not, your body tends to react negatively to anything tasty. This is the time you realize you should have had a healthier lifestyle all these years. This is the time you think of hitting the treadmill and wonder why you did not think of it all these years. Yes, I began hitting the treadmill, after my first delivery, in vain. I was bored in ten days. So, now I use a part of the precious hours to belly dance because that’s what my body responds to, positively. I have swimming on my mind too, but the cool weather does not encourage me to visit the pool yet.

And lastly, I can read or write in peace, like I’m doing right now. I can sit with my laptop and pay my bills, check my mail, keep in touch with my friends and write. My goal of writing at least one article a week can, perhaps, become a reality. I’m sure there are plenty of other things I could do during these hours but right now, it has only been two weeks. I was quite paranoid about sending my daughter to a babysitter or leaving her alone with a nanny but the fatigue my tiny son has put me through has driven me to send him to the babysitter. Of course, I analyse his behaviour and see to it that he enjoys himself with the children there. Let’s hope my precious hours last for at least a little while more.

Cindy D'Silva
Cindy D'Silva
Cindy D'Silva, besides being a mother of two angels, is a belly dancer, writer and photographer. She loves partying, bowling and eating sushi. There is a detailed biography about her on the ABOUT ME page in case you would like to know more. :)You can like and follow her Facebook page to get all updates on the latest blogs and more: https://www.facebook.com/blogaberry/

32 Comments

  1. Neha Jain says:

    This is really an important topic, stay at home moms also need some time for themselves as it helps them get back to work with full energy.

  2. I am a stay at home home and I still need a lot of help as I’m raising two kids and help is always welcome as they let me be me, which is equally important.

  3. Amrit Kaur says:

    Ebery women needs some me time to pamper herself and fulfill her dreams. But mothers do great job while multitasking.

  4. Tina Basu says:

    Kids can be a handful. I had kept a baby sitter for my son when he was younger around 1 or 2 but he didnt like being with any of them. They only watched TV. so I had to say no to keeping baby sitters!

  5. Dr Bushra says:

    I can easily relate what a mom struggle through while upbringing kids. It’s not easy to balance life after marriage. And yes me time should not be ignored. Thus is indeed inspiring for all mommies out there

  6. Jhilmil says:

    Babysitter is always a blessing, as new mums, we too need time for ourselves. As you said a good sleep is so important

  7. I can totally relate to you, Cindy. Even I am sending my son to daycare after school and every time I meet someone they only ask me why I’m keeping him away from home when I am not working. I don’t understand why people look at it in a negative light and why do they think that mothers are not supposed to have time for themselves. I strongly urge people to stop judging mothers!

  8. I am so glad you have chosen some time for yourself buddy for I know how vital it is. Forget about what the world says.

  9. Smitha N says:

    I always make my me time because it’s really important for every individual to follow it.. 1st we should focus on self as that is important…

  10. I relate to this dear! I am a stay at home mom with two kids and I don’t have a baby sitter. I know what I face on a daily basis. I live in a nuclear family so I can’t take proper sleep and this affects my health too. I think it is a wise decision.

  11. Varsh says:

    Sending our kids to a babysitter is not is an individual choice. I know of other moms who do this too. Wonder why this should be any reason to judge. Me time is important for moms too.

  12. Fantastic post, I could relate so much. This is because I know the importance of Me time and glad I find this experience fulfilling

  13. Ofcourse SAHM also need few hours of ME time, surely you have a right move for all to be in peace:)

  14. Pinal Shah says:

    I believe there isn’t any women who dosen’t like having some time for their own self out of their bzy schedules.😊. I ‘ve always been a fan of having some ” ME TIME” as it lets me be “ME”

  15. Brinda says:

    I don’t think there anything wrong with wanting to get some time to yourself for work, errands or to relax. I’m glad you’re doing it and also writing about it so that other mothers think about this too. The child is experiencing, learning and having fun with other children his age too so it’s a win-win situation all-round!

  16. I completely understand you. There is no shame in hiring a baby sitter. This doesn’t make you a bad mom. In fact it gives your the time to think better and rejuvenate yourself to enable you to spend time with your kids better

  17. This is what I am going through now, I really need some me time for me, no work, no family no friends. Just me and my time at least for 2-3 days to feel good from inside.

  18. So true…people here think that it’s the responsibility of sahm to take care of kids,house and everything, people don’t think that we also need to me time,some personal space where we get some mental peace and time to pamper yourself.

  19. Kids can be such a handful. Balancing everything nowadays in nuclear families needs superpowers. You are lucky he is at arm’s length. All the best girl 🙂

  20. Me time is indeed very important and I can say this coz I missed this with my son. I raised my son all alone without any help at home. In the chaos of taking care of him and household chores, i somewhere missed myself. And I really felt in those intial 3 years, i missed being me and I was frustrated many time coz i was over burdened with responsibilities.

  21. ginia says:

    interesting read. me time is extremely important for everybody for mental peace.

  22. Mrinal Kiran says:

    Everyone needs time for themselves… Hiring a baby sitter is absolutely fine even when you are a stay at home mom! ❤️

  23. Sapna says:

    Getting free time after u have kids is something impossible

  24. Noor Anand Chawla says:

    I totally understand the need for personal space and to be able to enjoy a moment (or a couple of hours) to oneself. It is essential to overall well-being.

  25. You have done the right thing by having some me time. It is your prerogative to remain healthy and do whatever you wish to do with that free time.

  26. Jenifer says:

    So much sacrifice & difficulties in motherhood. Hope I experience it too soon.
    And hope u have the best of the free time.

  27. Sundeep says:

    A Stay At Home Mom also needs support in raising a kid. She also deserves her me time and an occasional break from raising the kid. A babysitter is required in many cases with even S-A-H-M.

  28. Urvashi says:

    Oh dear ! you spoke my heart.. I dread everyday just to get few hours. My son has rejected the day school after flu and ever since decided to be at home only. Am struggling and wishing it will change. Happy to hear that you have some peace.

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