Have you ever wondered why there are so many broken relationships these days? Why do many toddlers throw tantrums all the time? Why do many teenagers disrespect their parents in public? Why are many parents not able to handle their tweens properly?
Well, some of the reasons, we believe, are disrespect for another, foul speech, rude behaviour, low attention span, dismissive attitude, impatience, etc. Basically, important manners are not being instilled in children these days. When we don’t teach our kids basic manners, it is difficult for the kids to understand how they are supposed to behave, especially around other people.
For example, maybe if the husband respected his wife, the wife wouldn’t have left him? Perhaps, if the woman had empathy and cared enough to understand her husband’s insecurities, they wouldn’t have split up? Maybe if the parents sternly taught the tiny tot manners, they could have gone through toddlerhood smoothly?
Many of us are afraid of our kids. Afraid they would feel offended and begin hating us. But, sometimes being a mean mom or even a mean dad, to teach our kids basic manners when they are young, is important so that they grow up to be well-mannered, empathetic and respectful individuals who can have better relationships, work lives and expectations.
Children grow up anyway, but if kids need to be respectful and mentally strong, we believe that we, as parents, need to guide them in the right direction.
In today’s fast world, everyone wants things fast. But, we need to teach our kids to wait. Whether it is waiting in a queue at a store, to be served (at a gathering or a restaurant), or even during playtime. They should learn to wait their turn.
Kids should also be taught not to interrupt a conversation. It is crucial for kids to know that they have to be respectful and request to interrupt a conversation if need be. By doing this, they build patience, improve their listening skills, learn to value other people’s time and in turn build good relationships.
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As some kids use the ‘F’ word very casually, it is important for us to teach our kids to use kind and gentle words instead. It is important to help them understand their emotions as well as those of their friends so that they don’t find the need to use foul words or speak ill of someone (to people or behind their backs), especially while expressing themselves.
Kind words have the power to uplift others positively. Being polite helps kids understand as well as consider the feelings of people around them. Speaking respectfully also creates mutual respect. ‘Please’, ‘Sorry’, ‘Excuse me’ and ‘Thank you’ are golden words for a reason.
We should encourage our kids to share their things with their siblings and their friends. It helps them learn about generosity, the art of letting go and the joy of giving.
Kids should also be taught to share their thoughts (instead of simply assuming the worst) and be guided on how to be mindful while they express themselves. We should teach our kids that poking fun at other kids or those older than them should be avoided. All this helps them be open-minded and confident and also have healthy discussions. This in turn allows them to be comfortable around other people where they can learn new things.
It is important for us NOT to clean up after our kids all the time. We may sometimes feel like mean parents, but teaching our children to wash their hands before eating, bend forward while eating, avoid walking/talking with food in their hands, put their toys back in place and keep their emptied dishes in the sink instils in them a sense of responsibility and cleanliness.
It helps the kids realize the mess they can avoid making and understand the value of being tidy. They also learn to respect shared spaces, especially when visiting other people’s houses.
We need to teach our kids to ask for permission, especially if they want something that’s not theirs. Checking if it is okay to take or use someone else’s things teaches them to respect boundaries, respect other people’s property and build healthy relationships.
Moreover, knocking on the door before being allowed to enter a room is also considered respecting other people’s privacy.
Sicknesses are a pain and getting sick regularly really stresses you out. With all the variants of sicknesses flying all over the place, it is important to teach our kids to cover their mouth with a tissue, handkerchief or inner elbow while sneezing or coughing. It is less disgusting and helps prevent the spread of germs.
Kids should be taught how much they need to eat, drink or use resources. Just because it does not affect them when the immediate wastage happens, doesn’t mean it’s okay. Teaching our kids to avoid wasting food, drinks or other resources like water helps them to be mindful of what they need and want and handle things accordingly.
While wasting food should be avoided, overeating is also a sin. We must teach our kids, by example, to eat how much the body needs, not how much the tongue craves. Tasting a little of everything is okay, but taking a huge serving of each item on the table is terrible manners, especially when you’re aware that other people have still not taken their first serving.
Only we can teach them to consume what is required and to do this, we need to control our greed, too, don’t you agree?
As we know, the foundation of any upbringing lies with us, parents, and only we can guide our children the right way. Only we can point them in the direction that lets them improve themselves and be smart individuals. So, let’s ponder on our ‘works in progress’ and make sure we teach our kids all the above basic but important manners while they are still young.
(Speaking from experience, I’ve seen how my daughter would copy me in every way. The way I spoke, sighed, sat, behaved, etc. That’s when I realized that I had to handle my emotions and display good manners if I wanted to be her role model. I realized that only I had the power to be her life-long influencer. After all, it all starts at home.)
Photo by Julia M Cameron
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49 Comments
I agree with you – these are some basic tenets that we need to instil in our children.
I agree with your points or tips. But these values were gradually provided to us by our parents but nowadays when parents are busy earning money or earning a living, these values wither away if not seen. Parents should provide quality time with their kids so that they can transfer these core values to their children too.
Being a parent it’s important to make sure that our kids imbibe the right manners and behaviors as they reflect our ideologies. We too make sure that they showcase their right behavior and manners.
That’s great, Hansa!
Manners should be the very basics, and i agree this list is a good one . Teaching kids these basic manners is crucial for their development and helps build a respectful society.
Very good points, this will help children a lot for their future. And I feel even adults should follow these tips coz I have seen many lack it esp overeating.
True, adults should learn first.
Though I still don’t have children, these are some brilliant manners which nowadays parents fail to teach their children. As a kindergarten teacher I experience lack of these manner in kids all the time.
Manners should be the very basics, and i agree this list is a good one – if kids of today could learn this, i feel their present and future will be better.
I love the idea of teaching kids to clean up after themselves. I always encourage the parents to do that. We have a rule in school (after discussing with parents) for kids, where they are encouraged to clean up after themselves. So, if a child ends up spilling water, they themselves get the mop and wipe it out. The kids have learned to do the same at home too.
Wow, that’s awesome, Felicia.
Manners that should be second nature. I might sound judgemental. I have seen parents trying to inculcate habits and manners into their kids but don’t follow them. Monkey see, monkey do.
Hahaha, exactly what I subtly mentioned in my blog.
These are some instrumental life lessons that the kids should definitely learn from a young age. Absolutely agree with you on focussing on teaching such essential lessons.
Children learn by copying us. If we don’t have the right habits they will automatically not have them. Not wasting food is an important one. Most people don’t realize that.
Teaching discipline and basic manner is parent responsibility. You have explained all points very well. Asking permission is I don’t see in children. Specially when my kids friends came at home they simply enter in bedroom, open cupboard, take toys instead of asking permission. This is weird and many times my kid asked why they behave like this?
Yeah, they should be taught to respect people’s things.
These are essential tips for parents to maintain and raise their kids properly. In my home, my two-year-old nephew started listening to everything and did not shout or show tantrums because my sis and BIL maintain their relationship with love and respect towards each other. What he sees he reacts exactly the same way.
That’s great, Pamela!
Good ones. Specially cleaning up also teaches shared responsibility. They should know that household chores are to be done by all, not just the mother.
Rightly said, Janaki!
Being a parent myself, I can attest that manners is one thing that parents should really instil in their children. As many say, we are the first teachers of our children. This is something that should be learned from home and not from school. I’m glad you’ve shared this valuable content.
Thank you, Jeannine!
Great points, Cindy. As parents we pamper our kids but a line needs to be drawn when it comes to respecting others. Making them be responsible for their actions and their consequences is important.
Thanks, Varsha!
Great post, Cindy! 🌟 Teaching kids basic manners is so crucial, and you’ve outlined some really important ones here. It’s amazing how these simple lessons can shape their character and social interactions for life. I, for one, teach my kids to say “please” and “thank you” – such small words with such a big impact! Looking forward to more insightful posts from you.
Keep up the fantastic work! 👏😊
Thank you, Rahul!
What a fantastic read! Teaching kids these basic manners is crucial for their development and helps build a respectful society. I especially loved the emphasis on saying “please” and “thank you” – small words with a big impact! Thanks for sharing these essential tips.
These lessons may seem basic but are in fact very important. I really can’t rank them in any order. While I have taught my kids a few, (like covering germs, cleaning up and all) , teaching them not to interrupt is a Herculean task.
Yeah it is difficult, but not impossible!
Cleaning up and asking permission are such important things to teach because I’ve observed the parents jumping in and saying, “Array tum rehne do” “Array ye to bacha hai” when it comes to cleaning. And asking for permission, well, I guess even some adults could do with that 🫣
Ya, first the adults have to learn, only then can they teach their kids.
Being a mother of a 10-year-old boy I totally agree. Kids nowadays are more informed than ever and if they are equipped with these basic manners, nothing stops them. Especially giving respect.
Great post on teaching kids essential manners! It’s so important for parents to instill these values early on. These eight tips are practical and easy to implement. Thanks for sharing such valuable advice.Sharing this with other parents!
Thank you, dear!
All the tips you have so nicely collated in your post were things that our parents did automatically without the need for a blog post or someone teaching such stuff. I feel sad that we need to write such posts to bring awareness of even such basic things to today’s parents. Often, I wonder if we are progressing or regressing. Regardless of my feelings, such posts must be available to increase awareness.
Do share with those who need it, Ratna!
I can’t agree more Cindy… good manners and discipline are the foundations on which we build our lives. I see respect fast diminishing with this generation. They don’t know how to talk with anyone and it is a matter of great concern.
My kids are so far so good… touchwood!and I feel happy when their teachers, my neighbours and other people talk about how respectful they are. They don’t share and give away readily but😬. I think this is a phase n they will change as they grow up. 🤞
I have this expectation from them, ‘mere kids kuch baney na baney, good human beings banne chahiye’ n I will continue trying my best to make them that. The rest they will figure.
I hope u understood the hindi😉
Hahaha Of course I understood.
I think this is one of the most important topics to discuss today. Handling children should be assessed from time to time so that they grow up to be responsible citizens. With families becoming nuclear, more child issues have started to occur. *
We were naturally given these values by our parents and I passed the same on to my kids. But I see many parents who set wrong examples and don’t even try to tick off their children when they are wrong. Especially tantrums in public. This is a great lesson for parents wish many would read it and follow it.
Thanks, Harjeet. Do share the post with others.
I can’t agree more. Among all the important things , to waste less, be kind is all important life skills.
These are absolutely necessary manners that need to be inculcated in children from a young age. I am glad that you have included a point about wastage. It is so vital that kids learn the value of things be it food, or anything else and do not waste them, and use them judiciously. Sandy N Vyjay
Going through your tips, I realised that my mom has brought us up so well. And that too when tips and sharing was not part of the deal. I think such simple practices have to be inbuilt in the environment around us.
Earlier I mentioned that my kid too small and I am trying hard without giving pressure to help him eating right. After reading this post of you, Cindy few things I would like to add the next mission I am on with is clean up. As usual like any other kid of his age he plays with all his toys and spread it across the room. I made a dedicated toy bag for him at day end I ask him to put all toys in it one , he is learning slowly how to clean up in small way. I will keep taking advises from you and I am sure it will help me. Keep inking such powerful content.
Yeah start asking him to keep his toys in place and slowly guide him with table manners, etc. All the best.
Often I see children wasting food or being rude in public. These manners are small things but matter a lot in inculcating the right values in our children if we wish them to be good humans and responsible adults. Great post Cindy.
Thanks, Preeti.