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The days go by so quickly. And, we have very little time to do what we want and be with whom we love. So, why do we waste it on someone who is not fit to be by our side? Don’t we love ourselves enough to keep those negative elements absent from our lives?

The other day I realized that this character wasn’t helping me grow in any way. Though he was in my thoughts and affecting my emotions every single day, he was keeping me from thinking clearly. Even my day dreams and night dreams were about him. I would have nightmares about the way he was treating me. I had to think a hundred times before I did something related to him. His presence in my life horrified me. I dreaded his mere existence. Eventually, I also began questioning my family, my friends and my life. I knew that this wasn’t the way to live but I kept surviving with him in my life.

A few frail years passed with me being continuously supressed by him. I knew I couldn’t simply try and ignore him because that was just impossible. He was quite attached to me. And, I was weak enough to allow him to hold on to me. But, I had to do something about it.

A lot of painful thoughts later, I told myself that there was only one way to live peacefully. He had to get out of my life for good. And there was only one way I could make sure that he wouldn’t inadvertently seep into my life again. It was my final decision. If I loved myself, I had to kill him.

The plan was simple. I would call him to a lonely and dark place where he couldn’t see me and then get rid of him forever. But, sometimes, plans don’t go the way you want. They don’t work out exactly how they played out in your head. I panicked. The more he was in my presence, the more I got hesitant to carry out my plan. The more I got nervous, the more I took for granted that my strategy was never going to work.

Then one day, I changed. My ultimate goal remained the same but my strategy would be different. I decided to face him. And then kill him.

Finally, the day came when I collected myself and went to face him with a brave mind. He looked me in the eyes and I could feel my emotions building up in me. I could hear my heart beat faster than it ever did. I was terrified. I was scared. I thought I would almost faint with fright. But, I ignored all my feelings, braced myself and stood tall. I faced him and, at last, killed him.

Only then, was he (my fear) gone from my life forever.

Pin it if you believe it too!

Yes, it was fear that was bringing me down, turned me into someone else and did not let me live my life in harmony. I had to kill it before I chased my dreams and lived without negative thoughts in my life. I had to kill it if I loved myself. Like me, I’m sure many of you also harbour negative emotions like fear, hatred, grudges, etc. So, let me ask you one thing. Do you think life is long enough to fuel these emotions? Shouldn’t they leave you right now? Shouldn’t you kill them? Shouldn’t you start loving yourself and taking care of YOU?

After all, Valentine’s Special should be all about self-love first, shouldn’t it?

This blog post is part of the blog challenge
‘Blogaberry Dazzle’
hosted by 
Cindy D’Silva and Noor Anand Chawla.

You are invited to the Inlinkz link party!

Click here to enter

Cindy D'Silva
Cindy D'Silva
Cindy D'Silva, besides being a mother of two angels, is a belly dancer, writer and photographer. She loves partying, bowling and eating sushi. There is a detailed biography about her on the ABOUT ME page in case you would like to know more. :) You can like and follow her Facebook page to get all updates on the latest blogs and more:


  1. Noor Anand Chawla says:

    An interesting build-up to a fine conclusion! Yes we should definitely kill many negative thoughts and emotions.

  2. Anitha Reddy says:

    Well said Cindy yes first we should Love ourselves they only we can over come our fears.

  3. Aurora M says:

    I couldn’t stop myself reading from one word to next and sentence after sentence… !!! Yes self love needs to be prioritize and one should know how to overcome the fears

  4. Mamma says:

    Beautiful .👍
    The suspense almost killed me.

  5. At first I thought I was reading a thriller. Then with the revelation it came out to be the most assertive read I have come across recently. I strongly believe and support in killing any sort of fear these days, as it fetches us nothing other than despair.

  6. People often talk about self-love without actually taking the necessary steps to weed the unwanted out of their lives. That love is incomplete. I love how you’re so aware and sure of what to do when it comes to loving yourself.

  7. You had penned it beautifully. Only if everyone could kill their fear like this….!


  8. Wow I never expected it to be fear to be honest. Loved this piece of writing. Fear makes you pause and not let you be yourself. Glad you came out of it

  9. I totally agree with you. I feel so happy to see that more and more people are embracing self love these days. I have also started a self love series.

  10. Pooja Jha says:

    This is awesome filled with all emotions, it looked like a suspense thriller, I am sure you can be a wonderful movie writer. We will be the first to watch it first day first show.

  11. What a surprise element that had. I had been thinking on lines of a toxic ex, but FEAR is truly our biggest fear. Lovely one.

  12. Abha Mondal says:

    Loved this Valentine special post. Self-love should be our priority.

  13. Vasumathi says:

    Lovely writing. We can reach great heights only when we overcome our fears and learn to let go. On a lighter note, Kevin must be relieved to know he was not the one asked to leave 🙂

  14. Sonia dogra says:

    As they say…darr ke aage jeet hai. Nice twist there.

  15. Wooww loved the idea of killing him, inner thoughts and growing as a new one. What a brilliant way you depicted the character and developed it. Great read.

  16. I loved the twist, that he was fear itself. Bravo! It’s hard to kill certain feelings but freeing when we do

  17. Ritu Bindra says:

    You sure had me hooked, Cindy. And you should definitely consider writing a thriller this year. Looking forward to reading more such gems from you.

  18. Varsh says:

    Here I was expecting it to a fight for the freedom she deserved and guess what, it was even better. Conquering our fear is one of the toughest battles we must fight, and win.

  19. Madhu Bindra says:

    Really enjoyed reading this. You are absolutely right, self-love is equally important on Valentine’s Day.

  20. Swati Mathur says:

    OMG.. Unexpected ending. Absolutely these negative emotions are like self limiting beliefs. The earlier we get rid of them the better we can enjoy life. Cribing on somthonh which is not important is like not removing unwanted weeds.

  21. Kaveri Chhetri says:

    Yes yes yes… totally agree… love yourself first and let go❤… n I loved the suspense factor😀

  22. This is so true and relatable. You expressed it well.

  23. Jasmine says:

    Lovely thriller post. The suspense was kept till the end. It’s so true, that we hold on to our fears that disturb us day and night but we still do not break up with it. This post is to remind us to let go and kill the fears so that we can move forward with grace

  24. I didn’t guess that end! Brilliant writing, Cindy! Your story had me hooked! Glad you killed your fear!

  25. Flavia Cutinho says:

    I was waiting patiently to know if it was Lawrence or Kevin 🤣.

    Nice post enjoyed the suspense kept

  26. Harjeet Kaur says:

    Oh my my, Cindy. You are suggesting killing those you don’t like? Then I would have a long list. Short story but carries a lot of emotion that comes across.

  27. The ultimate version of self love ya. Yes we all have this inside us. And only once when we decide to get rid of it we will shine.

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