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KILLING ME SLOWLY

Published by Cindy D'Silva at February 12, 2018
Categories
  • Woman In Me
Tags
  • courage
  • husband
  • inlaws
  • killing
  • lonely
  • marriage
  • power
  • slowly
  • softly
  • strength
  • wife
  • Woman In Me
  • wondering
Poem

Killing me slowly

Trembling on my sofa,
In my head, the question ‘why?’
Somehow feeling lonely,
How much do I try?

Thinking about my life now,
Wondering what to do!
Was it worth the time and money,
Marrying you?

Only a few days have passed,
Since we tied the knot.
Life would be wonderful,
I naïvely thought.

Lying on my bed at night,
Hoping what I did was right!
Speculating if I should get used to it,
Or stand up and fight!

Fantasized about having a second home,
But never dreamed of it being like this.
Pulling out my hair wasn’t in the plan,
Neither was crying like this!

I always wanted ‘us’ to happen,
Currently, I wonder why!
What was I thinking,
With tears, now, in my eye?

Why don’t you understand me?
Why don’t you try and respect me?
Why do you allow people to insult me?
Am I not part of the family tree?

Yet I pray, God, give me strength,
Give me the courage and power.
To spend the rest of my life happily,
With you, every day and every hour.

PS: This was written by a newly wed. While everyone assumes that a newly wed is the most happiest in their initial stages of marriage, only they know what happens in their own homes. Let your mind out here because talking is the only way you won’t die slowly.

 

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Cindy D'Silva
Cindy D'Silva
Cindy D'Silva, besides being a mother of two angels, is a belly dancer, regular writer and hobby photographer. She loves partying, bowling and eating sushi. There is a detailed biography about her on the ABOUT ME page in case you would like to know more. You can like and follow her Facebook page to get all updates on the latest blogs and more: https://www.facebook.com/blogaberry/

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21 Comments

  1. Docdivatraveller says:
    January 11, 2020 at 00:49

    I really look forward to reading your posts Cindy. It’s such a breath of fresh air!

    Reply
  2. Dimple Surana says:
    January 3, 2020 at 22:24

    Life is definitely not about fancy stuff, a lot of ups and downs. Very well written.

    Reply
  3. Hansa Kajaria says:
    January 2, 2020 at 18:41

    Such great words…. life is never easy… for sme marriage brings happiness and for some it doesn’t.

    Reply
  4. Pallavi says:
    January 2, 2020 at 16:02

    Many newly married females can relate to this,but we should always discuss it with someone so this does not lead into depression.

    Very well written.

    Reply
    • Cindy D'Silva says:
      January 2, 2020 at 16:22

      True but some of us fear upsetting people I guess. So it takes time to express your true feelings.

      Reply
  5. Aritro Chattopadhyay says:
    December 31, 2019 at 17:34

    May God give everybody the strength to fight their own wars. Loved the way you penned down your thoughts.

    Reply
    • Cindy D'Silva says:
      January 2, 2020 at 16:21

      Thank you.

      Reply
  6. Siddhi Palande says:
    December 31, 2019 at 16:43

    Loved this poem. One can feel the words sink into the skin and pierce our heart.

    Reply
  7. Ghunjain says:
    December 31, 2019 at 16:34

    Thanks for sharing this prom I totally loved it…and read it repeatedly

    Reply
  8. Jhilmil D Saha says:
    December 31, 2019 at 16:09

    These lines have brought the truth that every girl goes through perhaps in such a beautiful way.

    Reply
  9. vijvihaar silja says:
    December 31, 2019 at 15:33

    You penned down all the emotions so beautifully. I just loved reading each & every line of the poem

    Reply
  10. Sundeep says:
    December 31, 2019 at 14:11

    Thanks for sharing this beautiful poem with us. I was chеcking constantly this blog and I’m really impressed!

    Reply
  11. Humaira says:
    December 31, 2019 at 12:48

    Amazing and beautiful post. The poem is so beautifully penned. This is so heartfelt and emotional poem. Great thoughts.

    Reply
  12. presetly says:
    December 30, 2019 at 17:28

    Such a great poem and i can definitely tell that any girl who read this poem can connect with this poem such an emotional poem and the poem is beautifully composed.

    Reply
    • Nisha says:
      December 30, 2019 at 21:20

      Wow that was so beautiful. Really appreciate how you have penned down such sensitive poem.

      Reply
  13. Urvashi says:
    December 30, 2019 at 13:50

    What a wonderful platform for a voice. Thanks for letting others share and helping them by listening to those unspoken words behind that smile and tear

    Reply
  14. Nitya chawla says:
    December 28, 2019 at 16:00

    I can’t believe this.. Such an emotional poem.. Well written you totally floored it.

    Reply
  15. jenifer says:
    December 27, 2019 at 16:13

    Such a sensitive and heart wrenching poem.
    Am sure many of them can relate to it.

    Reply
  16. Rahul Prabhakar says:
    December 24, 2019 at 23:38

    The poem is beautifully composed. Thanks for sharing it with us.

    Reply
  17. Gayathri says:
    December 23, 2019 at 22:43

    You are a great poet. Believe me even if we accept or not every girl has been in this stage.

    Reply
    • Cindy D'Silva says:
      December 24, 2019 at 10:58

      So true! Thanks for stopping by.

      Reply

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