The cover features Matthew Perry for it is a memoir. The background matches the colour of his eyes.
Name: Friends, Lovers, And The Big Terrible Thing
Author: Matthew Perry
Format: Hardcopy
Number of pages: 250
Availability: Amazon (Buy the paperback here)
Rating: 3/5
The title is quite apt, as it’s about friends, lovers, and many things that Matthew Perry experienced in life.
The language used was American-Canadian English, so I had to research a few phrases, references and words that were unfamiliar to me, like ‘time for a big geographic’, ‘before the permafrost shows up’, ‘an SNL-like show’, etc.
The new words for me were anhedonia and bupkis.
The book is about parts and pieces of Matthew Perry’s life since his birth on 19 August 1969. It covers stories from his childhood, his parents’ divorce, and how it affected him, his confused emotions as a kid (and an adult), his breakthrough with F.R.I.E.N.D.S., and life after the ‘best job in the world’ came to an end. Mainly, he spoke about the rawness of being an addict, experiencing God (the light), and eventually helping people who were suffering like he did.
*It’s raw! It’s real! It’s emotional!
*The book was like Chandler Bing speaking to us about his REAL life behind his REEL life.
*Perry shows us how much and why a young child NEEDS a stable family while growing up. Perry continuously had fears that ‘he wasn’t enough’, or ‘people would abandon him’, or ‘he was an unaccompanied minor’ throughout his life. Many times, kids experience these feelings, and there should be someone (mostly a parent) with whom they are comfortable expressing these emotions.
*Though late, Perry ultimately learnt that he didn’t HAVE TO BE a joke machine for people to like him.
*The book shows how fame and fortune did not help Perry get better. Instead, the millions of dollars and corrupted doctors allowed him to have more drugs and smoke in some hospitals or rehab centers where he was admitted.
*Perry mentioned that in a book, ‘Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous’, author William Silkworth wrote in 1938 that men were not drinking to escape, they were drinking to overcome a craving beyond their mental control. It was then that Perry finally understood that he was an alcoholic.
*Perry shows us how many times an addict can actually relapse and some of the reasons for it. I learnt about quite a few names of several drugs.
*Let’s not get into that. Perry is in a better place now since 28 October 2023! May he rest in peace.
I have wanted to read this book since I found out about it. But, didn’t get down to buying it. I am a huge fan of F.R.I.E.N.D.S. and I keep watching reels or shorts of it every now and then. If I do watch, those are the only reels I’m interested in.
Matthew Perry’s thoughts (as a child) were heartbreaking – he says “I had no one to tell me it was OK, no one to look at for assurance. My feet didn’t even reach the floor. I was too scared… and I so vividly remember thinking that those lights, and all that beauty, meant I was about to have a parent.” He was divided between both his parents, who had separated before he turned one (his father abandoned his mom and Perry), and eventually started new families of their own. Despite Perry being an active part of both their lives/families, he never quite felt complete.
It was sad to know that, like Robin Williams, Matthew Perry was also funny on the outside and suffering on the inside. Sadly, this quote holds true for both of them – “I think the saddest people always try their hardest to make people happy because they know what it’s like to feel absolutely worthless and they don’t want anyone else to feel like that.” – Robin Williams (1951-2014). Williams died by suicide. In the book, Perry talks a lot about ‘if he died’.
Perry depended a lot on drugs and alcohol to make him feel better. To feel happy. To fill the void in him. And he kept rambling on and on about the number of times he failed to stop himself from relapsing and the type of drugs he consumed, and what they did to him. Apparently, every time he left rehab, he would buy a new house to feel better. Seems like he had a lot of money and plenty of time to waste.
In a couple of videos on YouTube, Perry says that addiction or alcoholism is the obsession of the mind. It’s the secrets that kill us for we are ashamed and hide it from our friends and loved ones. In this book, he goes all out and tells us how he was controlled by this disease, and how many times he visited rehab to get better.
When he was finally better around a year before he released his book on 1 November 2022, he was looking to build his life, have a wife and some kids. But, sadly, he passed away, at 54, less than a year after its release.
I read this book because I love F.R.I.E.N.D.S., but I would recommend you read it only if you are a die-hard fan of Matthew Perry.
Have you read his book?
1 Comment
I’ve always loved Chandler Bing, and now I feel like I need to read this to understand Matthew Perry beyond the jokes.