December 19, 2016
January 8, 2017
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No, I did not marry because I was ‘coming of age’ but because I wanted to marry the man whom I felt safe and protected with. I doubt I would agree to marry a person whom I did not spend a good amount of time with but no, I’m not saying all love marriages are a hit while all the arranged ones are flops. I had a lot of ups and downs just like many would in a normal marriage because you suddenly have to live with a boy and that is so ‘different’. There are many arranged marriages, too, that have gone the right way and the couples are totally in love.

A neighbour’s daughter agreed to marry due to family pressure only because the boy agreed to let her do what she wanted and vice versa. Then the girl passed away and the boy went on to marry a person he was actually happy about marrying and perhaps loved. The girl’s family mourns her death every single day while the mother has lost all hopes of living. Was this God’s way of stopping a failed marriage before it happened?

Another friend married a girl who ‘seemed’ nice and whom his parents liked. Due to his father’s deteriorating health, he agreed to marry her and introduced her to all his friends. Later, we get to know that she has filed a divorce case, after she delivered their daughter, on the basis of harassment and torture. We were shocked and my friend was devastated. He wasn’t himself for a long time. Personally, I cannot comment or blame either of them, because I really do not know what the actual issue was, but it was another marriage that went down the drain. He is single and happy again. Was that episode in his life really necessary?

I was in a relationship for a total of seven years before we decided to call it the quits because we were way different from each other. Initially, in the excitement of a new relationship and the new found exclusive attention, we generally overlook the flaws we are uncomfortable with. Somewhere after a few years those flaws get less tolerable due to various reasons. If we had hurried into a marriage in the launch, we would have another failed marriage. Today, luckily, both of us are happily married to other people. Happily married does not mean ‘no fighting’ or ‘not pulling each other’s hair out’.

While some are lucky to have all the love and understanding in all their relationships, there are many marriages that take place only because the candidate, generally a girl, is ‘coming of age’. Seriously? They could have waited until the right person came along but no, attaching ‘anyone’ to you is more important than your happy single life. Some people hurry into a marriage because they are insecure about losing the one they think they love. If the person in your life has to go, he will go, no matter what; whether you are married to him or not.

They say gambling is illegal but if you sit back and watch, you will know that life, itself, is a gamble and the most risky of all ventures is Marriage – the biggest part of our lives! Think about it. In the end, it totally depends on how you ‘handle’ and ‘play’ your cards without a rule book. You play it how you want to and you either win or lose or you decide if you want to win it or lose it and play accordingly. It’s all up to your cards!

Life is a gamble, sometimes you win and sometimes you lose, but whatever cards you play in life, always remember to use your heart.

Cindy D'Silva
Cindy D'Silva
Cindy D'Silva, besides being a mother of two angels, is a belly dancer, writer and photographer. She loves partying, bowling and eating sushi. There is a detailed biography about her on the ABOUT ME page in case you would like to know more. :) You can like and follow her Facebook page to get all updates on the latest blogs and more: https://www.facebook.com/blogaberry/


  1. Blossom says:

    Nice share Cindy.
    Bloom wherever u are planted

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