Bullying has been an ongoing behaviour since the earliest civilizations. The first reported bullying was in 1862 when a soldier named Flood committed suicide due to repeated harassment by his mates. Now, it does not only happen with adults like you and me but also in schools with children. School bullying was widely publicized only in the early 1970s after several suicides and school shootings that took place in Europe. Soon, it spread across Canada and the US. According to research, school bullying in India has also increased in the past few years.
Generally, bullying is a result of several factors and it is spreading across the world. How? Why? How do we stop it? We will get to that, but first, let us understand bullying.
Bullying is the act of using force, threat or hurtful words to abuse, dominate or intimidate others. It includes physical violence, verbal mockery, rumours spread through different sources, etc. This behaviour is mostly directed towards more vulnerable or weaker individuals and is repetitive though sometimes one bullying incident can be damaging enough.
Several types of bullying occur around us. Some of them are:
While some children grow up to learn from the bullying they encountered in the past, there are many issues that victims face after being seriously or repeatedly bullied. This includes social withdrawal, depression, anxiety, substance abuse, loss of focus, bullying others, etc. Sometimes, many victims also contemplate suicide.
There are quite a few ways in which we, as parents and teachers, can put a stop to bullying. We have the power to transform lives with a positive approach. Instead of only punishing the offenders, let us also try and help them understand themselves.
After asking some of the kids (who bully others) in school, the final answers were:
Though physical bullying must be addressed immediately, we can try and understand why children bully others in the first place. The above list shows that when children feel unimportant, unheard, inferior, frustrated, sad, upset, alone, etc. they tend to bring out their feelings in several ways. While some children cry and act up only at home, some kids tend to handle their unaddressed negative emotions by harming other children.
In these instances, we believe that we, as parents, need to make time and understand our children. We need to sit with them and find the root cause of the multiple complaints received from the school. While punishing our kids is probably okay so that they get some time to think about what they did, helping them understand themselves will also help them in the long run.
Here are some ways how we can better handle our children who bully others:
Children should understand bullying and its consequences even if they are bystanders who only ‘encourage’ the act. We, as parents, need to teach our kids that it is wrong to harm others verbally or physically. Poking fun at others continuously is also a total no-no. Teachers can probably only be blamed for not addressing a bullying incident in school. But, we are the ones raising our children at home and only we can help stop them from bullying others.
While we talk to the teachers or parents of the kid troubling our kids, it is also necessary to help our kids learn how to analyze and handle certain situations the right way on their own. As our kids grow older, there is a need to help them understand their emotions, so why not help them understand the feelings of their mates, too? We can talk to our kids, who are being bullied so that they don’t get into depression, anxiety, overthinking, etc. at such a young age. We can help them understand why some children misbehave.
Here are some of the things we, as parents, can do to help our child who is being bullied:
While bullying should not be justified, educating our kids (whether offender or victim) about bullying and its consequences can help both sides understand themselves as well as others. It can help both parties find solace and probably become friends eventually. Maybe it could result in an entire generation being free from work bullies. Wouldn’t that be a great achievement?
But, it all starts at home. Once we all raise our kids with compassion, patience and love at home, we won’t have to worry about them bullying or being bullied outside the house. We can instead trust our kids to be good, empathetic, kind and confident individuals who can handle themselves and the circumstances that they encounter, of course with our help and guidance.
So, let’s start now. Right at this moment. At home. Let’s transform lives with a positive approach.
Have you bullied anyone in school? Why?
Tell us what you thought about this article.
This blog post is part of ‘Blogaberry Dazzle’
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in collaboration with Dr. Preeti Chauhan.
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34 Comments
Such an important and insightful post! I really appreciate how you highlighted the root causes of bullying and the impact it has on both victims and offenders. The approach of not just punishing but understanding the underlying emotions driving the bullying behavior is something we often overlook. The tips for both parents and teachers are practical and thoughtful, especially the emphasis on compassion and empathy. It’s so true that it all starts at home – creating a nurturing environment can make a huge difference in raising confident, kind individuals. Definitely a topic we need to talk more about! Thank you for sharing this valuable guidance.
Thank you, Richa!
This is such a well-rounded and practical guide to addressing bullying! As someone passionate about personal growth and habits, I also believe these approaches can help children build confidence and resilience.
It is an essential guide to stopping bullying, focusing on empowering kids with positivity and support. Such practical advice is crucial for creating a safe environment and fostering confidence in children to stand against bullying.
Bullying is a universal problem, that needs to be dealt with iron fists in velvet gloves. Bullying has also acquired new forms with the growth of technology. Cyberbullying is an increasing menace. The issue needs a holistic approach by society in general and parents in particular. Both the bully and the bullied need to be counselled, to help root out this menace.
Bullying is, unfortunately still rampant everywhere. this is a very helpful post, and i hope people can read it, and use it. It is so important to stop this and get the help needed. The stuff I read about these days is so scary!
Bullying is becoming common day by day. What worries me the most is the mental health of introverted kids. I have seen kids taking drastic steps who are unable to combat bullying. Your piece is insightful. I need to talk to my kid in detail.
Thank you, Mandira!
Absolutely agree! Tackling bullying begins with understanding and empathy, and we must foster this at home. Teaching kids compassion, resilience, and respect not only helps them navigate difficult situations but also creates a foundation for positive relationships. Imagine a future generation that’s more supportive and inclusive, all starting from lessons learned in the family. Let’s start this journey now—showing them the impact of kindness, and helping them grow into strong, compassionate individuals who uplift others. This shift at home could indeed change the landscape of our workplaces and communities. A powerful reminder!
This is such an insightful piece, Cindy. I appreciate how you’ve focused on understanding both the bully and the victim, and how it’s crucial to tackle the root causes instead of just reacting to the behavior. It really hits home for me—I remember a boy in my son’s class (back in class 3) who used to bully others. WheneverI or other parents tried to speak to his mom, she would get defensive and argue. Now, he’s in 11th standard,(different section) and the situation hasn’t changed. Your reminder that it all starts at home is so true. Thanks for this practical and heartfelt guide.
You’re welcome, Anjali!
Cindy , this post about why children become bullies and how to tackle this serious issue is very relevant and specially appreciate how you have explained in depth the root cause of bullying. As parents, it really helps to look out for signs of bullying and how to tackle it in an effective manner.
True, Preeti.
This blog post offers a compassionate and practical guide to addressing bullying, providing parents and educators with positive strategies to support children effectively. The thoughtful advice and focus on empathy make it an empowering read for anyone committed to creating a safer environment for kids.
I’m really glad you wrote this article, Cindy. My son has been facing bullying at school recently, and we had a conversation about it last night. Your tips on supporting both the victim and the offender really resonate with me. It’s important to address these issues with empathy and love.
Hope everything is better soon, Neha!
I am not a parent. Atleast not yet. However your post is relatable even in the group of adults. We often see bullying even amongst adults. Most of the time, it stems from the personal experiences and being bullied in their past. There’s a very good book talking about all these issues by Paulo Freire “Pedagogy of the oppressed”. It covers all aspects of interpersonal relations spanning education, politics, socialogy and more…
Good to know.
This is a very important issue that needs to be addressed..be it whatever age bullying is bad. Teaching kids to be empathetic and teaching them right starts at home
True, Sindhu!
Bullies have problems that are often curable with love, care and attention. Before their negative actions affect others they must be dealt with, and the victims too must be empowered to face them without fear.
True, Varsha!
Especially useful when you have teenage kids at home. Very recently, my husband and I were explaining to my son how to stand up to someone who tries to bully and report such incidents. Most of these incidents go unnoticed because the bullied kids are threatened against speaking about it. Indeed has to be handled very carefully. Thank you for the useful tips.
This is such and eye-opener. Parents of bullies rarely if at all accept that their child is harassing. Keeping an open mind is so very healthy to tackle this unhealthy spread.
This is such an educational post!! I have shared this one with my 14 years old niece. Last week we were talking about bully coz teens suffered with it and sometimes ignored
This article is such an eye-opener! It truly highlights how complex bullying can be, not just for those on the receiving end but for the bullies themselves, who often need empathy and understanding too. I appreciate the gentle approach of addressing the root causes and focusing on nurturing kindness and confidence in kids. It’s a refreshing reminder that the way we guide and support children at home has such a big impact on how they interact with the world. Thanks for sharing these thoughtful insights!
I have been bullied in school and I know the mental toll it had on me. This is a comprehensive guide that every parent should read, especially the pointers on what a parent can do to help kids who are being bullied. Sometimes, talking to the kid itself is a big step.
Sorry to hear that, Shalini. Yes, talking to the kids help in many ways.
Cindy you talked about a very serious and important topic which needs clear attention from parents. I am surprised to see the increasing percentage of school bully cases in recent time. If that is not stopped now it will turn out to be a reason behind many future fatal cases.
This is an essential guideline for every parent today. Specially cyber bullying has become too rampant and its a challenge to address these issues.
Never gave a thought to why someone resorts to bullying. The section ‘WHY DO CHILDREN START BULLYING THEIR MATES?’ provided some insight. Thanks for this much required piece
Thank you for sharing this detailed essay on bullying. It is a terrible thing to be a victim of a bully. It drains a person of his self esteem, makes him fearful of visiting school or workplace and in extreme cases force a person to take his or her life. I know people getting beaten up for submitting their homework in time or getting good marks in exams. People are bullied for their looks.
Though physical bullying is the worst form of bullying, verbal taunts linked to race, sexuality, disability are no less damaging.
Bullying must be prevented, schools and workplaces must have a designated officer to deal with the problem and exemplary punishment while famies do their part at home.
This is such an educational post. The first reporting going to 1862! It’s truly a serious issue and your points to handle it at home are so valid. Children who have a loving environment grow up to be wholesome individuals.
So true, Ambica. I hope more people understand this.