February 13, 2017
Stop comparing
March 23, 2017
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My rebel girl

With great enthusiasm I bought my four year old a Barbie book, with stories, to read to her at night. Most of the stories had a prince who fell in love with a princess and made her his wife, and then they lived happily ever after. I’m not sure why this concept is fed into little heads and we did grow up reading these stories too. Of course, we have to appreciate the fact that these stories were made child friendly from the original adult stories that had horrifying endings but why tell our girls they needed to fall in love with princes and marry them to live happily? What do they do until they find their so-called-prince? Wait? Is everyone happier after marriage than they were while living with their own parents? Maybe for some, marriage is an escapade but is that the case for all?

It is good that some stories are now showing girl power and I, personally, hope that our girls realize that they do not need to wait for princes to save them when they can do so themselves. They do not need a man to lean on for the rest of their lives when they can stand on their own feet and be independent. If they fall in love, it’s well and hopefully good so that they have a companion to spend the rest of their lives with but they shouldn’t be forced to marry just because of age or society pressure. If they are, they have to be mature enough to stand their own ground. After all, the two people getting married will have to understand one another and give each other space in order to remain sane in the sanctity of marriage.

Many a times, princesses find love and then realize that their prince isn’t someone who understands them well. They are stuck in a bond where they do not know what to do. An educated university top scorer, not an average student like me, sacrifices her degree, dreams and aspirations for love while her prince happens to be the most selfish of all men who does not even take her on date nights anymore, let alone allowing her to visit a pub with her girlfriends. Her creative side is so strong that I, honestly, think that if she hadn’t married her prince, she could have become a luminary, but alas, she has been forced to stay a housewife because her in-laws have followed that glorious tradition for generations.

Another princess finished her Master’s degree with flying colours that reached the sky but she was married to a man who wouldn’t stand by her while his parents tortured and treated her like their hired help that came for free. Is that what we are meant to do after we marry; just do the laundry and raise our children? While our men have all the guys’ nights out, are we only meant to wash their cranky kids and keep their houses spotlessly clean? Don’t we need a night out too? Aren’t we eligible to be stress free for a few hours too?

Both the above princesses found their princes but fell into a spot that gave them two grave choices; leave and be independent or stay and be suppressed. While one smart woman chose to walk away and live her life by her norms, the above two princesses chose the latter and are still being taken for granted by their so-called Prince Charming and family. Many of us would choose the latter, especially, if it involved our children. So what do we do then? How do we remain sane and happy? You will all agree that being a housewife cum stay at home mother is stressful enough and all of us need the freedom to do things that make us happy. So why not? Why do we behave like our families will collapse if not for afflicting ourselves with the burden of health and prosperity of our loved ones? Why don’t we LIVE HAPPILY ever after?

Let us all take a deep breath and ponder on how we can change our lives for the better. Let us think how we can take care of our families and enjoy our own selves too. Let us teach our daughters to live happily ever after, whether they find their Prince Charming or not. Let us teach them to stand up for what they believe in. Let us teach our sons not to treat women as if we were dropped on Earth to serve them alone. Unless we set an example, our children will never learn. So, let us be happy and show them how to live in contentment before searching for someone to serve, annoy or enjoy life with. Dream big! Set goals! Take action!

Cindy D'Silva
Cindy D'Silva
Cindy D'Silva, a belly dancer, writer and artist, besides being a mother of two. She loves partying, bowling and eating sushi. There is more about her on the ABOUT ME page. Do check it out! :) Do like the facebook page too:


  1. […] the mostly suppressed life of a woman. So, let us all enjoy the structures made by the kings while raising our daughters to be independent, strong and fearless, yet good, human […]

  2. Leannda says:

    Yes! This is the perspective young girls need. If a woman wants to choose a restricted life, fine—but no one should see the lack of autonomy in a relationship as normal or the only option. Encouraging girls to explore and assert their independence doesn’t take away from their femininity or maternity (if they had them in the first place), it enhances both and makes a whole person.

  3. Jyotsna says:

    Liked the point_ making our daughters to stand up for what is right…nice and refreshing read.!

  4. Nicki says:

    This is a really interesting topic, I have a girl and I think I’m going to try and find books for her that have independent women in them

    • Cindy Dsilva says:

      Thanks Nicki! Yeah even when i read the oh-so-loved princess stories, i make sure i mention that you (to my daughter) dont need a prince to save u because u can do that yourself! 😉

  5. Tina Basu says:

    Seriously, I think we also need an upgrade in the fairy tales that we read to our kids – you are entitled to your happily ever after with or without the Prince Charming. very nice way to say it.

    • Cindy Dsilva says:

      Thanks dear! From your surname, I’m guessing you have Indian roots too and you know how our country thinks! Let us change that because I know I’m done watching women in all forms get tortured because of their delicate emotions and physique. 😉

  6. Nakeisa says:

    I love this post. I’m grateful to have a husband that supports me if I didn’t I would definitely have conflict. We all have purposes and I will not teach my daughter to wait for a happily ever after. The men will be there!

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